People have ask us "how we are doing" or "how are we feeling " since Kassidy  lost her fight. We tell them we are doing ok, but on the inside, we are not doing good at all. Tammy and I have often wondered how Kassidy was doing....think about it, she was 12 years old and we ask her was she feeling and she would always say ok, but deep down inside she had to be "feeling" horrible. That is one of he things we are struggling with right now, we never knew"how she was feeling". Her attitude and the way she acted told us the way we think she felt. As I said on my previous updates, I said I have some cool things to share about Kassidy. We were going through some of her things that she had while she was in the hospital, we found a teen book that she had to write down her feelings. This is written by Kassidy...I will not add or change any words.....

I WANT.......The days and years go slow so I am very close to my family.

I NEED.........Nothing but faith,, Bravery and prayers from friends and family that care.

I FEAR..........The thought of cancer causing death. But I KNOW I'm not going to die!!!!and also losing my hair.

I WISH..........I understood why and when. I didn't have questions on how it started.

I HOPE..........I DON'T loose my hair The doctors(s) said I may or may NOT loose it. So I hope I don"t lose my hair.

I EXPECT......to get through this. And when I do have children I can tell them my story of when I was 12 and had cancer.

I AM..............HEALED IN JESUS NAME!!!!

I LOVE..........My family and friends and everybody else whos praying for.

But most of all I love Jesus!!

Those words were a blessing to us, we found that book after she passed away , we know she wrote that down when she first found out she had cancer.She always was my rock even when she was down mentally as far as she could go.We were at home with Kassidy and she was taking a shower. She was in the shower and she could see herself in the mirror, she had one leg... no hair, I ask her was that the first time she had saw herself that way , she said "yes". Then she said "dad I still think I am beautiful".... I told her I thought she was beautiful too. Then she gave me a hug and got me wet and she laughed real hard about that. Think about what she was thinking, a 12 year old seeing herself like that in the mirror but she thought she was beautiful. I think that was amazing. She ask Tammy one night.. Kassidy said "mom I thought cancer was for older people", Tammy told her that cancer did not care about the age of people.Kassidy said "Thats alright I am still smiling"We think back now and wonder how was she feeling. Finding the things she wrote and some of the things she said, maybe she was not feeling that bad, we believe that GOD himself was with her all the time comforting her and telling her she was going to be ok. That helps but the days are not getting better,we knew she was not feeling well after she passed....but right now the emptiness is deep. I wonder why Kassidy.... why Kassidy.. she already knows, God has told her and he has showed her. Just think of all the people that will come up to Kassidy in heaven and say ..."I am here because of you... because of the faith and strength you had, I am in heaven TODAY".......how cool is that !!!

Since Kassidy passed away I have had 2 pastors that told me , They thought Kassidy had ministered to more people in her 12 years than some pastors do in there whole mnistery. I know she impacted alot of people. I ask one of our pastors if he thought it was possible that some of the people that changed their life because of Kassidy  if they could have been someone who was going to do something real bad to society, he said  maybe  they would be the next Billy Graham 

Thanks for your continued support and prayers. Share Kassidy's story with some one whom you think could benefit from her story......keep checking in and GOD BLESS...

Danny Tammy Courtney and our "Champion Kassidy"

Hey everyone!  I've let Danny do the last few entries and I guess I'm ready to come back and talk for awhile.  Writing everyday to let you know how Kassidy was doing was easy for me, to be able to share her strength and faith with everyone.  Since she went "home" it has been hard for me to want to come to this site and write. I thought that everyday would get easier, emotionally, but instead it has gotten harder.  I miss her more today than yesterday and I think I will miss her even more tomorrow.  I know she is better off in heaven but here on earth my heart is breaking.  I wonder if there will ever be a day that I can get through without crying.  Everyday driving home from work by myself is the worst time.  It seems that every song on the radio I can relate to her, and I have time to think about her life and remember....and miss her even more!!  I wonder if she knew how beautiful I thought she was, how proud of her we were, how much I loved her hugs and kisses, how her little smile just made me light up inside, how very much we loved her.....and how I now miss ALL of those things.  I know that time will let us heal and the memories will make me smile...I know that God will help us get through this tough time.  He hasn't left us through our entire journey and I know he will be with us now.

This past weekend we went to Fredericksburg, VA to Paragon Gymnastics.  Their Parents Association held a sleepover in Kassidy's name.  Danny and I took some of Kassidy's team mates that wanted to go.  Everyone there was wonderful.  They coach (Craig) explained to the kids that were there (128, one of the biggest crowds they have had for a sleepover) about Kassidy and that she had lost her fight with cancer but they still wanted to remember her because of her love for gymnastics.  Every year their gym has a meet called the Commonwealth Cup.  Last year, Kassidy won first place on vault at that meet.  So from now on the gym is giving the girl that wins vault in level 7 at that age group a trophy that is in memory of Kassidy.  How wonderful is that? She will be remembered every year! They gave our team t-shirts from their gym and I think the girls had a blast at the sleepover.  They played games, climbed the rock wall and got to know some of the other gymnasts from Paragon.  They gymnastics community is so giving andWell, I've rambled enough for one day. this gym has a BIG heart!!

In the next few weeks there is a horse show in Salem in Kassidy's memory....this idea came from our neighbor, Mr.Tuck.  I'm looking forward to this event and we plan to attend at least some of it.  I have never been to a horse show before!  Kassidy always said she would love to have a horse but knew that we didn't have enough time to take care of one.  But she loved to see them and I know she will be watching and smiling.

I know Kassidy is with us, all the time.  I'm sure she would be touched by everything that everyone has done and everything that is still being done in her memory.  I know we can not begin to thank everyone for everything, prayers, letters, cards, fundraisers, hugs or just being in your thoughts. 

We will be updating on SameFight still and updating the journal pages and thank you page.  We are also in the process of changing Kassidyspage.com so please keep checking back.  We will also try to post some more pictures.  Please continue to send your thoughts...it's good to still log on and see that people are checking her page.  If you have a memory, a story, how she touched your life or her situation has changed your life we would love to hear from you. 

Courtney has her first night of  basketball practice tonight so we better run and get her there on time.  Please keep Courtney in your prayers also...she is only 10 and doesn't express her feelings.  I know she is missing Kassidy but she doesn't talk about it...so pray for her that God is helping her to get through.

God Bless you all!!

Tammy