HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANCE.  Well I guess everyone was wondering if we were every going to update again.  Time flies, we get busy, and most of all just have not taken the time, but wanted to make today an exception because of the special occasion of Chance’s birthday.  He would have turned 7 today.  I was checking the website the other day to see how many people still checked on us daily and to no surprise it is several hundred a day.  You will never know how much the support not only through our time with Chance, but the support you continue to give us keeps us going. 

            The family is doing great; Desirae has been trying to keep the kids from fighting each other while working on her jewelry.  She has done two shows and has had a lot of business.  Her cancer bracelets have really been a big hit and the best thing about them is that the proceeds go to help the research on Chance’s type tumor.  Destiny is doing very well too, growing extremely fast, now not extremely tall, but I know she will not be 6 foot.  She has started preschool again this fall and really loves it.  Chaycen is looking more and more like his older brother everyday, hard to believe, but November 4^th he will be a year old.  He has been walking now for about month.  He has a lot of the same similarities as Chance and reminds a lot of him.  As for me things are good, we are getting ready to start basketball season on November 16^th.  We have been doing camps through the summer and have started open gyms this fall.  I have a really good group of kids all the way through.

            As a family we have taken several trips.  Back in May for Destiny’s birthday we went to Williamsburg to Busch Gardens , which Destiny wanted to ride everything there.  Good thing for me that someone had to watch Chaycen and that she wasn’t big enough to ride everything.  We also went back to the Great Wolf Lodge and had a blast riding every water slide there.  In July Desirae, I, and Jason and Tara Underwood went to Daytona for the race, which is always a great trip.  We had a hardware show in August in Boston and we had a great time.  Pretty expensive, but a great place to visit.  Then in September we always go to the beach after rates drop with mom and dad.  Weather was perfect and we had a lot of fun.  Trips are done now just preparing for the holidays. 

            Along with Chance’s birthday today we took our check down to Duke.  Back in late May we gave out our scholarships to Floyd, Radford, Glenvar, and Giles in a total amount of $7,500.00.  The remaining amount of $8,165.00 went to Duke today for pediatric brain tumor research.  This money was raised at Chance’s tournament last year.  We have started making plans for the tournament this year and have added two more teams to get us to a totally of 10 with 5 games.  The date will be January 2^nd 2010.  We will be doing a BBQ dinner again this year being catered by the same guys as last year, this was a crowd favorite.  I hope that you get the opportunity to come up and watch some great teams, players, and coaches and also get a great meal too.  The teams this year will be Pathway Christian Vs Auburn, Patrick County Vs Christiansburg, George Wythe Vs Giles, Blacksburg Vs Radford, and Fort Chiswell Vs Floyd.  There will be more information upcoming so keep checking the website also if you are interested in helping any way please email me at bharman@swva.net.  

            Once again I want to thank each and every one of you for all that you have done and continue to do.  We love each and every one of you.  Hope to see you at the Classic in January and thanks for celebrating Chance’s 7^th birthday today.

God Bless,

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Chaycen

Well it has been awhile since our last update, I kept telling myself that I would do it and just never took the time to sit down and write.  With Easter coming up I figured we could show an updated picture of our family and wish everyone a happy Easter.  The last time we updated was around Christmas.  Christmas went well for us, still different without Chance here, but Chaycen is helping with the healing.  Destiny is turning into Chance so much; she is becoming a lot of fun.  The 2^nd annual Chance Harman Classic was a huge success again thanks to everyone.  Next year we are adding at least two more teams and hopefully trying to pull every team from our district into it.  I am getting several calls of teams wanting to be involved.  We have already set the date for next year; it will be January the 2^nd.  We are going to try to do it the first Saturday of the New Year, I know looking down the road New Year’s falls on that day, so we will have to do something different then.

Basketball season finished up and a couple weeks later we took a two day trip to Myrtle Beach, taking advantage of the cheap prices.  They had four indoor water slides, two which we really big and Destiny wasn’t afraid of either of them, but I wouldn’t let her ride one of them, we will save that for this fall.  We had a lot of fun!  Also, in February we went to the Monster Truck show in Roanoke, in hopes of seeing Randy Brown (Grave Digger Driver), but he was in a different city that weekend.  We still remember the trip with Chance so well.

In March, we lost a good friend, good coach, and a great person in Brenda King.  Brenda had got cervical cancer back in November and she fought hard but she finally went on to Heaven to be with her husband Danny which died from cancer a few years ago.  They have two children, one is a baseball player at UVA, and the daughter is an 8^th grader in Pulaski, I ask if you would please keep these kids and their families in your prayers.

We continue to get up with our good friends Mitch and Jody Reed and the kids from Giles.  Destiny loves playing with them and we have a lot of fun talking and spending time with them.  I know the night of the Boys Basketball Championship (High School), the wives sent us home with all of the kids while they shopped, we thought this was going to be bad, but the kids played while Mitch and I watch Radford win the State Championship (Congrats Coach Cormany and Radford).

Easter was good, this was the first time I had gotten real upset, but I can remember Chance’s last Easter, but because of this day it gives us the hope of seeing him again and that is what puts the smile back on our faces and helps us push on.  His stone is to be placed the 23^rd of this month, we are just praying that everything looks good on it.  We have gotten the scholarships going this year again; we will be paying out $7,500 in scholarships to the four local high schools and sending Duke almost $10,000 for research on Chance’s tumor.  Destiny starts t-ball this weekend so that will be a lot of fun.  We really appreciate all the people that continue to keep up with us; you will never know how much you mean to us.  I think back over those 7 months to try to figure out how we made it through it, and the main reason was God, but you guys were next in line with your prayers and support.  Two things to finish up with, one is remember my cousin and her new daughter, Kara the new born was born with some complications and Suz has some tough decisions ahead of her.  The other one is how great it was to see North Carolina win the National Championship.  I will never forget the day that Chance and I were over at the Dean Dome and Tyler had gotten his nose broke and Chance asked me how the guy was that broke his nose, and we both looked up and I said well there he is ask him.  Tyler stopped and talked to us for a minute, he will never remember or every know how much that meant to me.  What a class act.  Till next time, take care and take time to love, kiss, and spend time with those kids and your family.

Thanks for the support,

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, Chaycen, and Angel Chance.

Things are going well.  For anyone that has heard or hasn’t read In The News on the website, we have a new addition to the family.  We were blessed with a healthy little boy that we named Chaycen Wesley born on November 4^th.  Labor went very fast almost to fast, but everyone is doing well and Destiny is so excited, she is so proud of him.  It is also hard because that is all that Chance wanted was a little brother, but we are so blessed to have what we have.  You can scroll down to In The News and see a picture of the family.  We are getting used to two kids again, which is some more work, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Basketball practice has started; right now we are short on some players because our football team is undefeated and still playing.  Hopefully these guys will end up in Salem on December 7^th for the state championship and that is when I will get my guys.  Chance’s classic is really coming along; there have been several sponsors which we are so thankful for.  If you know of anyone that is interested in helping volunteer that day or donate towards the tournament please just send an email through the website.  Hopefully you can get out to the dinner and the games, should be some very good games that day. 

Once again thanks for all of the prayers and continue support for our family, hope to see you soon at a game or around.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, Chaycen, and (Angel Chance)

Just wanted to give everyone an update of what is going on around the Harman household before things get busier.  Over the past month we have taken a vacation to Myrtle Beach with my mom and dad and on Friday of that week Mitch Reed and family came down to hang out with us for a couple of days.  That was a lot of fun and we always cherish any moments with friends and family.  Destiny loves playing with their kids.  Desirae has worked two craft shows one in Salem and then her usual one here in Floyd.  Her cancer bracelets are really taking off and everyone really loves them.

We are starting to finalize things on Chance’s tournament this year.  The date is set for January 3, 2007 and we will be doing a BBQ dinner with it.  This will be being prepared from a group from North Carolina, always heard NC BBQ was good, so we will see.  Hope everyone will come out for good food and good games.  The cost is going to be cheap, $5.00 for four games, and $5.00 for dinner.

Destiny is loving going to school, she goes twice a week and always wakes up ready to go.  She is starting to become a lot of fun, now don’t get me wrong she has her times where it is her way or the highway (well she gets that from her MOM) J.  We have finalized Chance’s stone; it should be in place sometime this spring.

I know everyone is wondering how Des is doing, everything is going good, we have an appointment on Wed to see how close we are.  That is also Chance’s birthday, so a lot of feelings that day.  Other than that she is doing well and feeling good, I really don’t think that she will make it through November, but we will see.  We will post as soon as she delivers.

Basketball season is just around the corner.  I would also like for you to remember Brenda King, women’s basketball coach at Hidden Valley.  Great lady, just been diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer, she really needs our prayers.  Thank all of you for your emails and keep up with us; once again you will never know how much that means.  Here is a story of another mom that has gone through the same situation as us.  Remember don’t miss any days to hug, love, and tell everyone how much they mean to you, life can change in a second.  Enjoy everyday, it starts with you, thanks again and we love all of you.

We had been walking down these beautiful enchanted streets for a while, we knew them by heart. We visited them quite often, taking the kids to school, going to the bookstore, sometimes to a movie , or breakfast , just around the neighborhood for an evening walk . It always went well, besides an occasional bump in the road here and there , skinned knees , a few tears and such , but most of all , smiles, giggles and kisses . I loved these streets , kind like the beautiful, lit up streets during the Christmas season.

Then one day , out of the blue , as we were cruising along these perfect trails , he tripped , scraped his knees pretty bad and had a hard time walking . We took care of him , made his wounds better , or so we thought... But with each step forward our family took , he stayed one more step behind . I tried to slow down and let him catch up but he couldn't . We tried to hang on to him but he slipt away.

Next thing I knew he was gone. He disappeared .The world kept on turning, people kept on walking on the beautiful and enchanted streets , except he had disappeared, I couldn't find him in the crowd , where was my son ? Did someone grab him ? Was he just sitting , sobbing, on a street bench hoping we would come back for him ? Did we just not pay attention enough ? Did we not realize how far behind he was? No , no , no ! We paid attention, we knew he was behind, we tried our best to make him catch up , we tried different things , nothing worked , nothing... Now he is lost . WHERE IS HE? Does someone know ? Did someone see him wandering in the dark , scary alleys?

Panic settled in , I couldn't breathe, I felt sick , the urge coming from deep in my stomach pushed me against the closest wall . Leaning against the cold stone house , i made my way down to my knees . How could this have happened ? How could I have lost my son ? Where was he now? I knew he wasn't with my husband and the boys , they were right here watching me crumble as fear filled up their eyes . He was gone and none of us knew what to do next.

It had all happened so fast , just a few days ago , he was walking along right by us , all smiles and proud that he didnt need a stroller anymore because he was finally a big boy . Now , he was gone , I was down , on the ground , trying to breathe and trying to keep from throwing up anymore... It felt like I had been attacked , punched in the stomach, stabbed in the heart and robbed of one of the things that mattered the most to me . MY SON . Robbed and left bleeding to death in a street where we once felt safe and where life was taken for granted ...

Boy were we wrong... These streets, our lives are never to be taken for granted ...

We live life as the family in this story walks down those enchanted streets... Singing , laughing , not a care in the world. We dont think twice that it can change in a instant . We dont think twice that you dont have to be 80 to get cancer and die. We take our own lives and our loved ones for granted . We KNOW that this stuff only happens to others .Only people walking the dark , scary streets get punished with such horrors... Again , how wrong are we !

While walking down these beautiful streets , and there are no bumps in the road , do we ever stop , and think how blessed we are to be there, with our spouse and children ? And that we can all walk hand in hand and laugh out loud .

We didnt always realize how lucky we were . We werent always thankful . We took little moments for granted . Now ,one of us is missing . Now when we walk down the streets that once looked beautiful, I always look back in the hopes I will see him again . Now, the laughter doesnt seem quite as loud. BUT you'd better believe that NOW , little moments are NEVER taken for granted . NOW, we try our best to make time for the little moments . One more kiss at night , or two , or how many it takes to put a smile on their face . And then one more, one last kiss , when they are asleep , because they know ...

Sleep tight lil man , let the angels rock you to sleep tonight, let them give you the one last kiss for me , tonight . I love you , all the way to Heaven ... and back .

Love, Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

           Things around here are going well.  Desirae and the baby are doing well; she is about 32 weeks so we are getting in the final stages.  We went on our hardware trip to Chicago, Destiny had a blast.  While we were there we went to a cool zoo in downtown Chicago, got to see an air show from the Blue Angels, Destiny got to ride in a horse and buggy around downtown Chicago, and we went by the Navy Pier which is a huge attraction in Chicago.  The navy pier had several rides for Destiny and a big, no real big ferris wheel that she got me on.  I am sure there are a lot of places in Chicago that you would not want to go, but I really like it; it is very clean and so much to do.  I know you don’t think of Chicago for a vacation, but it is a really neat place.  On Sunday of the trip Bradley, my dad, and myself headed to Michigan to the race while the women shopped.  All in all it was a great trip.

            We are soon taking a small trip for a few days down to Myrtle Beach, we always go with my mom and dad after the rates drop and it is less crowded.  This year we have talked Mitch Reed and his family into going with us, so that Destiny will have some friends to play with, and Mitch and I can hang out and talk about basketball and the women can hang out talking about who knows what.  We are really looking forward to it especially for Destiny. 

            Destiny has started pre-school and loves it.  A.J. (Travis and Laura’s son) and Destiny are in the same class, it took her a week to realize he was in there.  She is really doing well and is always excited about going to play with her friends. 

            Desirae did one of her two craft shows for the year this past weekend at Old Salem Days.  She did really well with her cancer bracelets and some of her Virginia Tech stuff.  There were several people that stopped by just to say hey and see how we were doing; you just don’t know how much that means to us.  Several people kept mentioning that they still keep up with the website and what is going on with us, this helps us make it through each and everyday.  She has one more craft show for sure the first weekend of October at the Floyd County High School, make sure if you go, stop by and say hey. 

            As for me, I have started open gyms back and been spending some time with the guys after school, basketball season is just around the corner.  I took Destiny up to the first football game and she was ready to go in as soon as she saw the Buffaloe mascot, for everyone that knew Chance he was scared to death of that Buffaloe, but not this girl she loved him.  I just picked up the last team for Chance’s tournament, it will be the team that will be playing us and that is Fort Chiswell.  I called Coach Jonas at Fort and he said he would be honored and would love to come be a part of the Classic.  I have found a logo for the tournament, it is really cool so make sure you get your order in for one of the T-Shirts this year or come up to the games and pick one up.  The other teams that are going to be playing are Parry McCleur vs. Glenvar, Radford vs. Blacksburg, Giles vs. George Wythe, and then our game with Fort Chiswell. 

            I want to finish with two things, one is a poem that another mother had written that had lost her son and the other is a video that will take 9 minutes out of your day, but I promise you it will touch you.  The last thing I want to ask you How many of you knew this was Childhood Cancer Month?, that is what I thought, we have to get more interest in curing this disease, watch this video and you will understand what I mean.  Once again we love you guys and thanks for all that you have done and continue to do.  Thank You for keeping up with us and caring.  This poem reminds me so much of Destiny those few days back in July 2007

Wings,

They say you earned your wings last night,
What does that mean anyway?
They say you are walking by Jesus,
How can that be?
You and I were playing a few days ago,
Yeah, maybe you were in your bed all the time,
But I made you laugh; I always made you laugh,
Always but yesterday,
Yesterday, you didn’t open your eyes
When I jumped silly in front of your bed,
Dad took me back to the other room.
Why didn’t you open your eyes?
Why couldn’t I hear you laugh?
Why was Mom so sad?
I know you were sick but I still want to play.
They wouldn’t let me by you,
I know you would have laughed for me
I know it,
But all they said was that you earned your wings…
Your angel wings.
Now I am alone, with just the marvelous sound
Of your laughter in my heart…
You will be my brother forever, in Heaven.
And forever I will miss you down here by my side

Here is the website for the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXTwHtBDqdo

Keep an eye out about 4:30 into it.

Thanks again for taking time to read this and watch this video, we love you and talk to you soon.

Love,

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance.

Hope all is well, I figured I would update and let everyone know how everything is going.  Desirae is feeling good, but she is to about 28 weeks so that means she is getting into that mode of having the baby.  We still don’t know what it is going to be.  Destiny is very excited about it.  We have been just hanging out and working around the house over the past several weeks.  We went to one of my previous player’s weddings in July, other than that we have just been spending time with Destiny.  We have taken a few one day trips to Randolph Park and Mill Mountain Zoo with Mitch Reed and his family.  His son Cam which is 5 and Destiny play well together, it makes us visualize what might have been.

Next week we are heading to Chicago for a hardware show.  Desirae, Destiny, my mom, dad, and our friends Pat, Bradley and their little one Kyra are going with us.  Destiny is pretty excited for the baby going with us.

We continue to work on Chance’s stone, we are getting closer. I look for it to be done and into place next spring, since they don’t like to set them in the winter.  I also wanted to let everyone know that we just sent our yearly money to Duke for research on Chance’s type tumor (ATRT).  This money was what was left over after the scholarships were passed out.  (Glenvar – $1,500.00, Giles - $1,500.00, Radford - $1,500.00, Floyd - $3,000.00 and now $4,000.00 for research)  We are hoping this year’s tournament will raise more than that, thank you to each and everyone of you that continue to keep our family in your prayers.  We still love reading the well wishes, and we appreciate each one of you that continue to tell us stories of how Chance changed your life, this really helps us.  It is such an honor when someone asks me if I am Chance’s dad.  I am so proud of what he did in such a short time.  Like I said before, don’t take any of your family or friends for granted, and enjoy everyday.  Below is a picture of Destiny with the check we sent to Duke, thanks again for all of your support and look for another update the 1^st of September.

Love,

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

One year ago today was when Chance was healed and headed to his eternal home with God.  It is so hard to believe that it has been that long, but on the other hand it seems like so long since I have seen him.  We just got back into town from a trip to Daytona Beach.  During the trip I thought back several times of what we were doing those last days and I could remember them so clearly.  I guess the 4^th was the easiest to remember when he told us he was tired and ready to go to Heaven, then the MRI report on the 5^th, then the 6^th the day that we will always remember. 

            We left to go to Daytona on Wed, we spent two days in Myrtle Beach then Friday and Saturday in Georgia.  Along the trip we saw several things that made us remember the road that we had been down over the last year.  The first was during the first night at a restaurant we saw a young man in his middle twenties who had had a surgery for a brain tumor and seemed to be doing great.  The first day we got there we went by a Christian book store that we had gone to back in April and the owners recognized us.  The next one another Christian book store at Broadway at the Beach had a couple in it that his wife was fighting some form of cancer and she had lost her hair to Chemo.  Then the last one was at the race at Daytona sitting in front of us was a family of a son about 5 and a daughter about 3.  When I looked at them I couldn’t do anything but smile.  When we were on our way in a Father was walking his son in, he was about 5, and he was asking him how excited it was since it was his first race.  I guess now after all that we have been through I guess I just see things better, I am thankful that I won’t take things in my life or other peoples life for granted anymore.  Don’t get me wrong it is tough to see these situations, some of these are good moments, sad moments, and difficult moments for all involved, but I can relate to each one. 

            I want to Thank everyone for everything that you have done for us through these tough days; you will never know how much we appreciate you.  Thank you for the cards, calls, and visiting Chance’s special place.  Cancer may have taken Chance away from us temporarily, but what we have gained from this situation and the strength and peace God has given us can never be touched.  His love for us and our love for him, the great times we had, the vacations, the play days, the nights that I laid next to him in his toddler bed trying to sneak out the door without him hearing me, the races we watched arguing who was going to win, but most of all the love that we shared for God and his love for reading and learning about the bible; is something no one can ever touch.  Just know that we are pushing on and we will continue.  I am going to end this with the update I wrote one year ago today; the last sentence is so true!

            THANK YOU!

            Chance has told us for months on months that God is healing him and recently he kept telling us that God had healed him.  Well, today God has completely healed Chance; he went on to be with the Lord today at 12:23pm.  Prayers have been answered, Chance is not suffering anymore.  He fought to the very last minute; I am just so thankful that he was our son.  Chance has won; he is a winner, now we all have to praise God, live life right to see Chance again one day.  Please keep all of our family in your prayers over the next period of time.  There are still a lot of kids out here that are fighting for their life, remember them.  Don’t forget, Chance is healed, he is shooting ball, playing golf, or fishing right now.  Can’t wait to get there.

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

As I looked back to see where I last updated, I started thinking I need to update more often.   We have had two good busy months and also I guess you could tell from Destiny’s shirt that we are hoping for good times at the end of October – 1 st of November.   Desirae is expecting again something we are very thankful for, and it is going to be here around Chance’s birthday which would be really neat.   I don’t think we are going to find out this time what we will be having because we have had a boy and girl so we will be prepared for both

Some of the past months we had some good times and one sad time.   We got an opportunity to go and hear Joel Osteen in concert at Greensboro , what an experience, he is such a motivator.   That same weekend which was April 19 th , Desirae’s birthday we headed down to the North Carolina coast.   As I mentioned before we had been praying for little Miss Emily Hollis for a long time.   She was with us at Duke, but now she has gone onto Heaven to play with Chance.   We got to spend a few hours with her parents, it was good to see them, but I just hated that it had to be for that reason.   This brought back a lot of memories, but what her family and Emily did for us we wouldn’t have missed this for anything.

As you know back in January we had a basketball tournament in Chance’s memory.   The money raised from this we gave in scholarships and plan on sending Duke the rest of it.   There will be pictures at the bottom of this update showing you the receipitants of his scholarship.   We are hoping for bigger and better numbers next year.   This year we gave Floyd County High School $3,000.00, Giles County High School $1,500.00, Radford High School $1, 500.00, and Glenvar High School $1,500.00.   After talking to Dr G. at Duke we found out that they are researching the type of tumor Chance had, so we will be sending them right at $4,000.00 just for that research.  

           Time for that Monthly, well Month and ½ update.  Everything around here is going well, just like everyone else when spring comes so does being very busy.  The last month we have experienced some great times. 

            I guess the first highlight was going to watch Diego Live with Mitch Reed’s family.  Destiny really loves getting together and playing with their kids.  Cam is the same age that Chance was so it is good for her; sometimes it just makes me think of how good it would be to still have him here.  They play really well together, a lot like a brother or sister; you know the kind of beating on each other that only a brother and a sister can do. 

            The next week we started water lessons for Destiny.  This has been a lot of fun as well, but the class is not exactly what we thought it was going to be.  The beginners class just gets them used to the water, well she is a big water bug, but at least we get to go play at the pool a couple of times a week. 

            We have a busy couple of months ahead, a couple of meetings with Relay for Life.  A trip to see Joel Osteen at Greensboro on April the 18^th.  A fundraiser for Karle Nichols at our church on April the 19^th.   April the 19^th is also Desirae’s birthday.  Our good friends Pat and Bradley Vaughn are expecting a baby towards the end of the month, so we are praying for all good things there.  We do have one prayer request and that is for Emily Hollis, her website is http://www.emilyhollis.info/aboutme.htm.  Her family was at Duke the same time as us and I know in the last few days of Chance’s fight her mom was very supportive.  We had spoken a couple of times before that, and Chance and her had played together some.  Any how her tumor has progressed and she is going through some really tough days, so if you could just drop her and her family a note just saying that you are praying and thinking about them, I know that they would really appreciate it.

            I guess the last story is the Friday before Easter we had collected Easter baskets to take down to the children.  Several people in Floyd stepped up to the plate again for this.  We ended up getting 93 Easter Baskets to take down to Duke.  This was the first time we had been back since July 6.  We had so many that we had to take to vehicles.  Desirae, Destiny, my mom, Desirae’s Dad, and I all went.  The car seemed to drive itself, so many memories of different locations.  From the good memories, to the gas station where we found out that the cancer had progressed, a lot of things we glad that we remember, but once again there are several we would like to forget.  We met our favorite nurse, Bridget, it was her off day, but she took time to go with us over to the hospital.  The first stop was taking the tram over to Radiation that we had done so many times, especially on weekends when no one was there.  We saw Eileen, one of his nurses and two of the radiation doctors that he loved to play jokes on.  After leaving there we took our walk that we did twice each week back over to the tram to take it back to the clinic, where we went up and visited the nurses that had taken care of us day in and day out.  Let me tell you a story of how small a world this is.  I was talking to one of our nurses and she said that she was at a party with a friend a few months ago.  Her friend was friends with the person that was throwing the party.  She told me that she began speaking with a friendly random lady.  The more she talked; she found out that this lady was a nurse as well in Denver, Co.  She was at the party with her boyfriend who was with another friend.  She told her that she was a nurse at Duke; the lady said that he boyfriend had a cousin that had a son at Duke.  Come to find out, the lady was my cousin’s girlfriend and they just happen to be in that weekend from Denver and were at the same party in Raleigh, NC.  Small World!  Well after spending time with them we went over to see Dr G., Chance’s doctor and a couple of the child specialist.  All of them were so nice, and it was really good to see them all.  They just kept saying I wished we could have done more, but that is one thing that no one can say they didn’t do.  Everyone did all that they could do from Chance to everyone praying for us, we did everything that we could do, it just wasn’t meant to be, this was God’s will.  Next we went up to the floor to hand out the baskets, we ran into several nurses up there that we had spent some of our life with.  One in particular that we saw was Mrs. Charlotte, she was there for us through the rough days, and she will never know how much see meant to us.  This was probably the hardest part of the day, especially as I walked by the room which was the last one he was ever in.  This was a very tough, but a very special day for us.  Like I said before Floyd and surround communities step up again by making the day special for kids at Duke and making it easier for our return back.  The last stop we made was back to radiation, we had missed one nurse that we wanted to see, as I peeked around the corner she waved, but she had no clue who I was.  It had been over a year and I had lost my hair, but after seeing Desirae, she came over and we had a great reunion.  Everyone all day was so excited to see Destiny.  Before we left we had to see Dr. Grant (the Pizza Doctor), Chance loved this guy.  He was our surgeon and the one who had to tell us that there wasn’t anymore that they could do.  I will never forget this man as long as I live, how can we say someone that had to tell us that information would hold a special place in our heart, that is weird, but we cherish him and his friendship.   He came out of OR, just to sit down and talk to us for about twenty minutes.  As we sit there, he just kept saying how Chance had touched him and several of the nurses that he had talked to, this made our trip easier, why because they hadn’t forgot him, his love and personality still is living on, not just in our lives, but in theirs.  As we sat there, Chance had a anesteologist that he love, Dr. Ames, he just happened to be working with Dr. Grant that day, we got a chance to tell him how much he meant to us and to Chance.  God worked in a great way that day, the Friday before Easter and we got to see just about everyone, well worth the trip, but it wasn’t over.

            If you have kept up with us you would remember how much Chance loved Red Robin.  Well we had a special waitress at Red Robin in Durham, so I called to see if she was working, she was so we headed that way.  When we got there we asked to sit at her booth, the same one as always in the corner that was where we always sit.  We didn’t tell her nothing, as soon as she spotted us; she yelled all the way across the restaurant, she was so excited to see us.  This was a good time; I can remember when she brought the Robin out special just for Chance.  Also, she wrote a story about Chance and it was one of the top stories for Red Robin in 2007.

            Well this has ran pretty long, so I won’t keep you any longer.  We still struggle everyday, but with God the struggle isn’t as bad, with the promise to see him again makes it a lot better.  We miss him so much, it is still hard to believe how long it has been, but it just seems like forever since we have seen him, but it is OK.  We still want to THANK everyone for all that you have done and continue to do.  I go back and read my updates from last year and I can re-live them so easy, but I read the well-wishes and I still feel the support and love, till next time THANK YOU!

Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and (Angel Chance)

            Hope all is well, it has been a little over a month and I wanted to write and let everyone know how things were going.  The best thing right now is the weather is starting to warm up here.  We have been staying very busy.  Basketball season finished up about a week and half ago.  The guys improved as the year went on, the record didn’t show how much we had improved, but some games late in the season showed that we could play with several of the teams in the district. 

            After losing out of the district tournament that Friday we had a hardware show in Orlando, FL so Desirae, Destiny, my mom, my dad, and I headed to Charlotte to catch a plane to Orlando.  We had a great time; we stayed until Wed and visited Walt Disney World a few days while there.  Some of the rides and the things we could remember from last year were tough at times, but we have to go on to be fair to Destiny.  Destiny I don’t think remembered anything from last year, the only thing that she asked which was tough to answer was when we told her that we were going to fly she wanted to know if we would get to she Brub Brub in the sky.  Not real sure how to answer that one, but we told her that he was a lot higher than any plane could ever fly.  She still misses him a lot, probably more than we will ever know.  I just can’t imagine how much fun they would be having right now, and how much fun we would be having with them, but like I have said before the best is yet to come.  The trip was a lot of fun and the weather was great.  We flew back into Charlotte on Wed and got back into town on Wed night. 

            On January the 27^th we headed down to Kingsport, TN to hear a gospel group called the Dove Brothers.  They are well known and have some great music.  One of the singers great niece was at Duke with us and the weird thing is I was talking with her mother one night and telling her how a couple of their songs were awesome and how they were helping me get through day to day problems and she told me the tenor was her uncle, small world.  They put on a great show and I got to speak to him after the concert and he knew Chance and knew us, it was about a 2 ½ hour drive and it was worth every minute. 

            This next story is one that really touched me.  The lady from Advanced Auto had emailed us and wanted to know if we would be interested in coming down to the Monster Truck Show again this year.  Everyone knows how special that weekend was last year, if not go back and look in the journal archives from Feb.  Well the same driver was back that drove Grave Digger last year.  His name is Randy Brown and I want to tell you he is a top notch class act person.  He wanted to know if we were going to make it to the Show, well Destiny and all of us had been sick, but I would love the opportunity to see him again and Thank them for what they did for Chance and us last year.  After arriving at the Roanoke Civic Center I was trying to get an opportunity to speak to Randy before the show and let him know we were there, but I was sure he wouldn’t recognize or remember me because all of the fans he sees.  Well they happen to come out just for a second and yelled down to speak to him and he looked up and he remember and said that he had my number, but just didn’t have an opportunity to call.  I told him it was OK and that my wife and daughter were with me and to put on a show.  Well first round of racing he got beat out which was disappointing then came freestyle.  Well if you remember last year Chance got to judge the freestyle and Randy flipped it over and then climbed out and said that the run he just did was for Chance.  This year Randy was going to have to have a great run to ever beat some of the other guys numbers, he started off kind of off slow, but I just keep praying that he could do it, then the last 30 seconds he left nothing on the table.  After going over his time limited and crushing this and that and doing all kids of donuts they finally shut him down.  After the run the numbers added up and he had won, it brought tears to Desirae and me.  Then once again, here is what kind of person he is, he got out and was talking and before he finished, he wanted to say hello to some special friends, Brian, Desirae, and Destiny and just wanted us to know he had a special passenger with him tonight.  Man this was tough, but I knew he was right and meant every word he said.  After everyone was clearing out to go stand in the long line to get autographs and I mean long line Randy kept looking around. We never could get close enough to talk to him and the Civic Center people were trying to get us to leave.  I told one of them that I was a friend of Randy Brown’s, just like everyone else that had been there that night, I told him that I wasn’t leaving until I talked to him.  About that time I yelled at him and he saw us, he dropped everything he was doing and ran over to us.  He just wanted us to know how much Chance had meant to him and his family, he had taken his kids to the website the day he passed away and explained everything to them.  He could quit talking about how much Chance had touched him and just kept hugging Desirae and I.  He will never know how much those two special days meant to us last year and the words he said at both shows, he is a very special person.  As we said our good byes we tried to get through the long line of kids and parents waiting on him to sign autographs, but he took the time out to spend with us and then I guarantee he signed every autograph no matter how late it got. 

            Things are still going well; we are still working on Chance’s stone.   We just want to make sure we make the right decision.  We still miss him everyday, the weather is starting to warm up and just think about all of the things that we could be doing together, but those days will come. Desirae is still busy working on her Cancer bracelets and Domestic Violence bracelets.  Destiny is growing, starting to shoot a little basketball, and we have planned on taking her to her first race in May at Charlotte.  It will be a truck race, a short one; I can still remember taking him.  A lot of things can be taking away, but memories last forever.  Since basketball is over the store is starting to get busy, today I went and spoke at two different churches, which I really enjoy.  Like I said before things and days are passing by, we still miss him so much, I don’t know how to explain it.  It is tough, but the promise that God has given us makes it easier and the peace and strength he gives us makes it easier. 

            I know a lot of people still don’t know what to say, but we are OK with talking about Chance, we want you to still ask how we are doing, don’t be afraid that you might say the wrong thing.  We still love to hear people mention about him.  It helps us get through and helps us remember how much he touched people.  Once again Thanks for checking on us, and you will never know how much we appreciate everything each and everyone of you have done for us over the last year and three months.  Till next month enjoy everyday and tell your kids, family, friends, and everyone else that you love them and how much they mean to you.

Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

            Everyone around here is doing well.  We are staying pretty busy, especially through the holidays.  Christmas was OK; it was a lot different without Chance here.  I am just so thankful that we have Destiny that makes a lot of times easier.  The hard part is for her not having someone to play with.  We did have some sad news over Christmas, Desirae’s great-grand father passed away and they buried him on December 24^th, but now he is no longer suffering and he is up in Heaven playing with Chance, Sherrie, Pete, and the others that have gone on before him.  On Christmas we opened presents here at home and then went over and Destiny took Brub Brub two presents, then we headed down to Desirae’s parents for the day.  All in all it was a good day, we just miss him a lot.

            Basketball is keeping me pretty busy.  The Chance Harman Classic was a huge success, we are hoping for bigger and better next year.  Hopefully the weather will be a little better next year.  Still trying to get a final number on what was made, but it will be between $10,000 and $11,000 dollars which is awesome.  As of right now the plan is to give a scholarship in Chance’s name to a student at Floyd County High School in the amount of $3,000 dollars.  Any student that has played a sport at Floyd County High School and has participated in Fellowship of Christian Athletes will be eligible for the scholarship.  All they have to do is pick up the application at the guidance office and fill it out then a Board will decide on the recipitant.  If something happens and we have two qualified students we may end up dividing the scholarship and giving $1,500 dollars to each.  We will also be sending Giles County High School, Radford High School, and Glenvar High School $1,500 dollars for a scholarship in memory of Chance at their school.  What is left over will go the The American Cancer Society in the department of pediatric brain cancer, that should be somewhere around $5,000.00 dollars.    

            The games were four very good games to watch.  One of the coolest things of the Classic was when Giles came out to warm up they had Chance’s name on the back of their shoes, then Graham came out, followed by all of the other teams.  Coach Rick Cormany from Radford said he wanted to come up with something special so he got with a company in Roanoke Dixie Sporting Goods and they donated the name tags for the tournament.  It was a really neat idea and meant a lot to me that the coaches and kids showed the respect to wear them that day.  Most every team warmed up with their Classic T-Shirts on and Giles’s coaching staff wore them during the game.  All of these things are small ideas and small things, but to me they meant more than those guys will ever know.  The first on matched up Graham and Giles, in that Graham beat Giles in overtime.  The second game Glenvar got a big win against Christiansburg with a single digit victory.  The third game had Blacksburg, one of the best teams in Double AA in the state playing Radford, one of the best single A teams in this area.  This was a very good game, two teams that really went after it, with Blacksburg pulling away at the end.  The last game was Patrick County and us, where it was close till about 4 minutes to go and Patrick pulling away for the win.  We sold several T-Shirts and still have a few Adult L and Adult M if you are interested.  If so, just send an email to the information page on Samefight.  The barbecue dinner went OK too, we were hoping more numbers, but with everything going to charity any amount is great.  I think they severed somewhere around 400.  When we get a final on the dollar amount of the Classic we will give an update under events, this should be available over the next week or so.  This will also include some stats from the games and more highlights from the games.  We will have some pictures from the day posted soon too.  We should already have this done, but basketball season is so crazy and wild around here.  We have a little over a month left for this basketball season.

            We have taken one small trip since the last update, last weekend we took Destiny to Gatlinburg to get away for a couple of days.  Rates we very cheap and I had never been there before so we headed out about mid day on Friday and got back late Sunday afternoon.  We had a lot of fun and really enjoyed ourselves.  We have a hardware show scheduled for February in Orlando, but I am hoping we miss out on that because our basketball season is still going on. 

            We still run into people when we are out a lot that come up and speak, this means a lot to us to that Chance’s memory will never go away.  The last month or so has been tough, but we keep focusing on and keep pushing on.  Your prayers, support, and friendship have kept us a float and without the peace that God gives we would never be able to make it through one day.  It is hard with out him here, but we have to just remember that it is for the best and that God never makes mistakes, we don’t always understand, but he does and one day it won’t matter.  God’s grace is sufficient!

            As I go back and read last years journal and well wishes, it is like I can remember each and every one of them like I just wrote them.  Thanks so much for what each and every one of you did through our journey, there is no way we can tell you how much your love has and always will mean to us.  We still continue to check the well wishes daily and hope to update some pictures soon.  We have started working on Chances Head Stone and hope to have it done and placed by early summer.  We will update soon on the total amount from the Classic and will also update the students of the scholarships over the next few months.  Please keep all of the other kids that are still sick and anyone else that is battling this awful disease in your prayers.  Thank you again and keep checking in on us.       

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

Wanted to give an update from here in Willis.  As some of you know a year ago today our life was changed forever.  A year ago this morning we found out that Chance had a brain tumor.  The past year still seems like such a blur, how things can change so fast.  I would have never believed that that we would be sitting here right know with one less child.  I am very thankful for the grace and peace that God has provided us over the last year, because with out that there is no way we could have made it.  I am also thankful for the promise that he has given us to be able to see him again.  This is priceless and we take it for granted so much.

Destiny is doing well; she still talks about Brub Brub a lot.  The last shot in the video on the article in the Roanoke Times explains it all where she is waving to him.  Those times are really hard.  Yesterday we took Destiny to see Santa Claus, this was hard to because I can remember taking Chance last year before his first surgery.  He loved riding the train, it was difficult seeing all of the other brothers and sisters talking to Santa together and riding the train together.  Destiny and I were on the second level looking down at all of the kids having fun.  I just wonder what she thinks, it just doesn’t seem fair to her.  I can deal with it, but Chance was so proud of her and she loved him so much. 

We have taken a few items up to Chance’s special place.  Other friends and relatives have brought gifts, Christmas trees, and memorial items.  Desirae and Destiny go up every few days, and I go up before every game.  We have decorated for Christmas, a lot of the items and things he helped me put up last year, the train under the tree was his favorite.  He also loved the blow-ups outside, we have one with two penguins popping out of an igloo, he said one was him and one was Destiny. 

The article that Jared Turner did was great, sometimes it was tough to talk about the situation again, but he put a lot of time into it.  Justin Cook the photographer spent a lot of time with us as well.  If you haven’t seen it yet go to www.roanoke.com.

Basketball is in full swing and we are just getting ready for Christmas.  We just got home from being in a Live Nativity.  I can remember last year, Chance loved feeding the donkey.  It just seems like so long ago since we have seen him.  There is not one day that goes by that we don’t think about him.  Destiny and he would be having so much fun right now. 

The basketball tournament was supposed to be scheduled for tomorrow, but with the ice storm moving in we have decided to move it to the 5^th of January.  Hopefully there will be better weather and the BBQ dinner will be a successful event too.  We hope that everyone that had planned on coming will be able to make it that day and maybe some that were not going to be able to make it tomorrow will be able to make it on the 5^th.

I want to congratulate Mitch and Jody Reed on the birth of their little girl today.  I also want to Thank everyone for what they have done for us over the last year.  God has gotten us through this tough situation, but the prayers and the support you guys gave us was very important and meant more than you will ever know.  I know we will never be able to repay each and every one of you, but just know that we love you and we appreciate what you did for us. 

As this holiday season approaches, I just ask you to love your family, hug your kids.  We have been taught so much from this situation.  I know over the past 30 years I haven’t always made the right decisions or said the right things, but if you have a problem with a friend or a family member, work it out.  Life is too short to go through it being mad at someone.  If we can just keep our focus on God and keep pushing for the goal of getting to Heaven, life will be a lot simpler.  There are times where you have to stand your ground for what is right, but in the end pray for the situation and for what is best for the situation.  Then sit back and watch God go to work, so many times we want to make the decisions, but put God first let him drive, the ride will be a lot smoother.  Don't get upset if the lights don't work or the traffic doesn't move.  Be thankful for the blessings that you do have, enjoy, laugh, have fun each day.  This doesn't need to be a stressfull time, don't forget about the true meaning of this time of the year, it isn't all of the packages or the lights, there is a very important birthday.  Let someone out in traffic, say Merry Christmas to someone, make this the best Christmas that you have every had.  Thank you for all of your prayers, well wishes, and support.  There are still a lot of you that we have never met, but thank you for getting us through this year.  Once again if you see us out some where come up and speak to us, we would love to hear how Chance may have touched you life.  If you get an opportunity, get up to Floyd County High School on the 5^th of January.  Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, just remember hug everyone and tell everyone how much they mean to you and how much you love them, because things can change a lot in a year. 

I received a prayer request from a parent and I wanted to share it with you, and I also wanted to share a Christmas Card that we received with you.

Our prayer request today is not just for Alaina but for all the children and families now and in the past that have battled childhood cancer.

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We ask you to pray for the families fighting childhood cancer now.

We ask you to pray for strength to face the uncertainty of childhood cancer and its problems.

We ask you to pray for faith to realize that God is in charge and we are not.

We ask you to pray for courage to continue the fight when times are tough.

We ask you to pray for compassion for others when we see their pain.

We ask you to pray for hope when all seems too hard to cope.

We ask you to pray for understanding when we do not understand.

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We ask you to pray for strength, faith, courage, compassion, hope and understanding for the parents

of the children that have lost their battle with childhood cancer.

Please pray for the mother that said today

" I am waiting on a sigh from her to let me know she is ok and I go to sleep every night saying

goodnight and blowing her a kiss, hoping that she will enter into one of my dreams and offer me another chance to hold her.  

Please pray for the mother that said today" These are some things I will never get to do."

I will never get to say happy birthday # 2. We barley got to say happy birthday # 1.

I will never get to watch her excitedly open a present.

I will never get to walk her to her first day of class.

I will never get to potty train a little girl.

I will never get to see her wrestle her brothers to the floor.

I will never get to take her to Sunday School and hear about what she learned.

I will never get to hear her read.

I will never get to go to G.A. Camp.

I will never get to hear her sing.

I will never get to kiss her boo boo from falling off her bike.

I will never get to feed her lemon and watch her face.

I will never get to do girly things like talk about boys, poems, and shopping.

I will  never see her cry from heart ache.

I will never see her in a wedding gown.

I will never worry about her driving.

I will never worry about her being in an abusive relationship.

I will never worry about her getting into drugs and alcohol.

I will never worry about her being sick.

I will never worry about her ....

Because I know where she is.

Take time this Christmas to hold your children close and most of all thank God for the gift of His Son.

John 3:16

  Alaina was a young girl with ATRT that we kept up with that is beating this monster; please keep her in your prayers.

The Christmas Card that we received said on the front

GOD’S GIFT

            Little baby on the hay, soon there’ll be another day when nails shall pierce Your hands and feet as You provide our sin’s defeat.  Risen Jesus on the throne, we lift our praise to You alone—for You’re the gift that we receive the moment that our hearts believe. –Roy Lessin

The inside is says

This Christmas, as you consider all the awesome things that have come to you through Jesus, God’s perfect gift, remember that it but a taste of all the good things that are yet to come.

Praise God for his peace, I am so thankful for what he has done for me, the BEST IS YET TO COME, make sure you don’t miss it.  Time is moving on; don’t miss your opportunity to celebrate, THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

           Well my update went from in the next two weeks to almost a month.  Sorry about that things have gotten wide open around the house.  We had the family Halloween party back in October; it was a lot of fun.  We had somewhere around 50 adults and children there.  There is always a hay ride and everyone looks forward to it, but this year dad had drove the tractor over to the house that day, but after getting here it wouldn’t start.  We decided to pull the wagon with a truck instead, I am sure Chance thought it was funny that Papa couldn’t get his tractor started.  The funny thing is the next morning it started right up, who knows?  The party was hard at times, but it was also good to see everyone having fun and that is what Chance would want us to do.  I am just so thankful that we have so many good friends and such a great family.

            On Sunday we got an opportunity to go to the Martinsville Race thanks to ESPN’s Marty Smith.  Marty and I played basketball against each other in high school, now he works for ESPN.  He has really done well for himself; he had given me a call a few weeks before this to talk about Chance and our situation.  It was good to hear from him and just talk racing from someone on that side of it.  He gave us tickets and pit passes, once getting in the pits we got together.  We got to see a lot of drivers, meet Ray Everham, go into Tony Stewart’s car hauler, sit in on the driver’s meeting, and hang out with until the race started.  I also had an opportunity to talk to a friend of ours that works for Jeff Burton, I hadn’t seen him since all of this had happened either.  Marty will never know how much this meant to be able to hang out with him and the opportunities to meet and be around the pits like that.  We still keep in touch every so often through text messaging.  He is a really good person that has worked hard and has been very successful.

            That Monday the 22^nd of October was his birthday.  Desirae, Destiny, and I took off to the Safari Park in Natural Bridge.  We had taken him up there when Destiny was little and he loved it.  Destiny had a lot of fun and it was good for us, don’t get me wrong we cried some and laughed some, but all in all it was a good trip for the family.  When we were getting ready to leave, Destiny wanted to get Brub Brub something so she picked out a giraffe to place on his special place at the cemetery.  As we were coming back home we stopped by and placed it there.  There were several things there that people had left.  I don’t know how to tell you how this feel to go celebrate your 5 year old’s birthday at the cemetery.  This was the hardest part of the day.  Destiny enjoyed putting her gift of the giraffe there on his special place. 

            On Tuesday we had a Basketball rules clinic in Roanoke.  Travis Cantrell (Joshua’s Dad), Mitch Reed, and I met up and headed down.  This was a good time, we got an opportunity to go out and eat before the clinic and just talk about the upcoming year and other things that were going on.  It was good to see a lot of the officials and other coaches that I hadn’t seen in a long time.  Like I told Shawn Good of Auburn, it was six months that Desirae and I never had a normal conversation of just talking about anything; it was always about what the next procedure was or where was the next appointment. 

            On Wednesday night we went to Brother Mike’s revival at Beaver Creek Church of the Brethren and I spoke.  It went really good, I really enjoyed sharing what God has done for my family and me.  Every time I get an opportunity to speak I just pray that God will give me the words to draw someone closer to him.  Especially people that are lost, because there is nothing good going to come out of the road.  We left on Thursday to go the Lancaster, PA.  We took Destiny, my mom and dad, and Desirae’s mom and dad.  We had a lot of fun, the weather was a little cold, but it wasn’t too bad.  We went to the Sights and Sounds Show on Saturday and saw In the Beginning and it was awesome.  If you get the opportunity to go see a show it will definitely change your outlook on what happened and show you that God is alive and that Heaven awaits for us that believe in him.  We took Destiny on a train and by the pumpkin patch that we had taken him to several years ago, but because of rain it was closed.  All of these things were memories that we had with him a few years ago.  Everyone had a great time and we headed home on Sunday.

            This was the last trip before we got started into basketball season.  After that starts it is wide open and very busy with holidays and games through February.  We have had one week of practice and I am really enjoying it.  We have our first scrimmage this weekend and the first game next week.  I am so glad to be back on the sideline, I just wished Chance was sitting there next to me, but he is I just can’t see him.  I have some really good guys right now that are working extremely hard to be successful.  You have probably seen the update on the website about the tournament.  I think we are going to be able to raise a large amount of money for the scholarships and American Cancer Society.  You can check out when the games are, we are having a barbecue dinner that day in the cafeteria, you can check out the sponsors, we will be selling shirts that day for the event, and you can even sign up to help.  We have some really good teams, players, coaches, and fans that are going to come and make this a great event and we are looking forward to this year and making it even larger next year.  Thanks so much for your support; we couldn’t do it without each and every one of you.

            As far as the family, everyone is holding their self up one day at a time.  I have started hearing some Christmas music and some songs are hard for me.  Destiny still talks about Chance everyday, this is hard for me a times.  I am just thankful she had an opportunity to know her brother and to be able to spend some time with him.  I just think how much fun they would be having right now.  Sometimes I still feel it isn’t fair, but it is for a reason far more promising than I can ever imagine.  We visit his special place frequently, we have started planning on his headstone some to, and this is just not an easy thing to do.  God has been so good to us and we are so thankful for the blessing that he gives us everyday.  The holidays are going to be tough, but we just have to stay focused and know that he would want us to go on.  This Christmas will be different with only one Santa picture, Santa only coming for one child, opening presents for only one child, while taking presents to our other one at his special place.  Thank you for your prayers, love, and support it is what gets us through everyday.  We will never forget what Floyd and surrounding towns, cities, counties, and states have done for us, NEVER! THANK YOU!

Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Destiny, and Angel Chance

Well, it has been a while since I last wrote.  A lot has happened since then; we have celebrated our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without Chance.  Thanksgiving was o.k. It was very quite at Brian’s family’s house.  Our children are the only little ones on Nana’s side of the family.  Destiny had all of the attention from all the adults of course.  She is so rotten.  She really is growing up.  She reminds me so much of Chance at that age; dancing, singing and jumping around.  Never a dull moment at our house.  I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given us.  I find myself appreciating every chuckle and smile she gives us and definitely every moment.  Destiny’s personality is really starting come out.  She is so much fun.  She is spending time with Brian more now; this is a good thing.  I have been praying for Brian and her to develop that special father and daughter relationship.  Brian tries so hard to spend more time with her and do things for her but she wouldn’t let him.  She always wants Mommie.  I think it is because I stay at home with her all day and we play all the time.  Brian and I were talking and he felt like he had nobody since Chance passed away.  Destiny sort of helped fill the void a little with me and we became closer.  Brian and Chance were best friends on the father and son aspect.  When Destiny was born Brian had to tend to Chance while I fed Destiny and put her to bed.  I would tuck Chance in but Brian would lay down with him; they spent that special time together watching monster trucks or basketball before he went to sleep.  Destiny wouldn’t her Daddie lay down with us or take part in some activities.  Now don’t get me wrong when it is play time Brian is her number one person.  It has begun to change now; she is letting Daddie do more for her.  I am so thankful God has answered my prayer.  I couldn’t imagine going from having a child relationship (with Chance) and then having absolutely nothing, no child allowing you to tend to them; for a while there my heart was breaking for Brian also. 

            We all continue to miss Chance like crazy but we know we will see him some day if not real soon.  Yesterday Destiny wanted to take 2 balloons up to Bubba’s place to let them go.  One was for Chance and the other for Joshua.  She released the balloons and Chance’s got stuck in the tree.  She was devastated, well I told her that Jesus would make the wind blow and it would come out of the tree and go to Bubba later.  Well, needless to say today we went to town and she wanted to stop by Bubba’s place to see if his balloon went up to him.  The whole way there I prayed for that balloon to be out of that tree.  She was so excited when we arrived and the balloon was no where to be found!!  She told me Jesus had blown it out of the tree and Bubba had caught it.  It made chuckle.

            Today God sent us another sign.  Destiny and I were laying down for a nap, watching Scooby-Doo.  If anybody knows, Chance was a big Scooby-Doo fan, (he left his legacy with his little sissy).  Then all of a sudden we hear this big bang followed by several small bangs.  I became a little uneasy trying to figure out what it was and what had fallen.  Destiny and I walked around the house and couldn’t find anything, and then we walked past the stairs that led to Chance’s room upstairs.  I looked at the stairs and found his four year old picture had fallen off the wall and sled all the way down the stairs, without breaking and facing right at me.  If this is not a sign I don’t know what is, I had this feeling come over me that everything is all right, a peaceful feeling.  I chuckled and spoke out loud for Chance to come in our bedroom and watch Scooby with us.  We have not even been upstairs for a while and it is no reason for that picture to have fallen.  It has been there for a while now.  It was the last picture Chance took professionally.  God is so great; he continues to give us that sense of peace and grace.

            Well, we are starting to give back even more now.  I have been praying to God to show me how he wants to work through me.  My prayers have been answered.  My heart has led me down to giving back to others.  Destiny and I are preparing Easter baskets to take to the cancer children at Duke.  I know a lot of you guys sent Chance things and it made him so happy, even if it was just a card.  I know how the parents feel if they can’t leave the hospital to get there child something for a Holiday.  So we decided we are going to take their basket to the hospital to relieve some of the stress off the parents.  Destiny and I are making baskets for the children.  We plan on taking the baskets down the Friday before Easter to deliver them to the children.  We have about 13 baskets so far we are filling.  Destiny loves to help put the goodies in them.  She tells everyone she giving them to sick kids like Bubba was.  If anyone would like to send an Easter basket please deliver them to Brian’s store if you are local.  If you are local to my parents (Big Island) you can give them to my mom or dad.  Brian, myself, Destiny, my dad Ray and nana (Brian’s mom) are planning to deliver them.  We are going to take pictures of the children receiving the baskets, so keep checking the web site.  We also are getting wagons painted in memory of Chance with cartoons characters on them to donate to the children’s wing at Duke and other hospitals.  Laura’s dad Coach Pratt is having his classroom paint them for us.  We are very excited about this.  Chance loved the wagons he got to ride in for appointments across the hospital; it was one of the highlights going to visits.  It helped make the visit all better.  We bought a few wagons and then others wanted to donate wagons also.  I think we are up to 9 wagons now.  I can’t wait to get these finished and we are able to deliver them to the hospitals for the children.  I have a lot planned and under the works right now but keep checking and you can see the pictures from where we are trying to make a difference in at least one child’ life.  Well, this has gotten a little lengthy and I have several other ways to give back to others in need but I will have to tell you about them next time.  Until then, may God continue to bless you and enjoy each and every moment with your loved ones.

Love,

            Desirae, Brian, Destiny and Angel Chance

Thank you for the many thoughts, prayers, and cards this holiday season.  May we all continue to remember the true meaning of Christmas.  God bless each and everyone of you.

Love,
Brian, Desirae, Destiny and Angel Chance 

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote in the journal.  We have celebrated our first holiday without Chance (his birthday) and about a month ago my sister was tragically killed and sent to be with the Lord.  Things have changed so much in the last 6 months for our family.  I encourage each and every one of you to cherish each day and make the best of it because you never know when God will call you home.  We all have to be ready just as Jesus says in the bible. 

As you probably know Chance would have turned five Oct. 22, we did have a small Halloween party in honor of him.  We know he would have enjoyed it, I know Destiny did.  The day of his birthday we had Bubba day.  We decided every birthday to take Destiny to a place they would have enjoyed, this year it was the Safari Park in Natural Bridge.  We took Chance there when he was about Destiny’s age (2 ½ Yrs. Old).  Destiny had just been born.  Chance thought it was funny to put the back window down on her in the infant car seat and let the animals stick there heads in and lick her.  I told Destiny this story as we drove through the park; she laughed and said “Bubba funny”.  She thought it was hilarious Bubba did that to her, she even practiced putting the window down and letting the animals in.  The memories brought a smile to all of our faces.  We went to the gift shop at the park and Destiny bought Bubba a big giraffe to put at his special place.  She loves giraffes the same has he did.  She got to feed the giraffes out of her hand and she thought it tickled to have them lick her.  If you ever get an opportunity visit the Safari Park in Natural Bridge, children along with adults love it.  I think Brian and I enjoyed it as much as the children did.  If you need more information you can visit their website.  It can be googled and you can pull it up from there. 

We all are doing well, we continue to miss Chance a lot but we know he is with us in heart and spirit.  Yesterday Papa Harman cut the trees down in front of our house.  Destiny and I stayed outside all morning watching them fall; I know Chance would have loved it.  As we sat in the grass watching, a dragonfly flew by our heads. Chance loved dragonflies and butterflies.  I just smiled and knew he was there with us.  We later went in for a nap and came back out in the evening.  Destiny and I sat in the grass watching papa and Jesse work cutting down the trees.  Then all of a sudden a butterfly landed on the end of my shoe!  I smiled and looked up to the sky.  God is so good; he continues to give us his grace.  I thanked God at that moment for the everlasting peace and grace he gives us.  It is moments like these that continue to feel us with loving memories.

Destiny continues to talk about Bubba and wants to take balloons to his place.  We took his giraffe up there and she placed it on the cemetery spot.  The day of his birthday she released a huge Scooby-Doo balloon; one he had taken back and forth to the hospital with him for his room.  I had saved it and we blew it back up again.  She smiled and told Bubba to catch it when she released it.  Destiny continues to grow up fast; she is a lot of fun now.  I know Chance would have really enjoyed her; she is at a great age.  It is hard sometimes when I think what it would have been like.  I try not to focus on the “what would have been”, it only brings me tears.  Instead I try to focus on the good memories and what Chance is doing now in Heaven.  I am sure my sister Sherrie and Chance are having a blast.  I know God has his hands full right now because those two were a handful together and you want to talk about loud and mischievous. 

My family always joked about who was going to be with the Lord next so they could see Chance first, I just never thought my sister would beat me.  My mom and dad always bragged if you go by age they would beat everyone, well Sherrie pulled a fast one on them.  I always reminded them that age doesn’t matter; it is whoever the Lord has next on his list.  I do miss Chance a lot but I am grateful for everyday I am allowed with my own family.  I know God has more work for me to do here on Earth and my purpose here has not been filled yet, but what a day it will be when I get to Heaven and meet my maker and see my baby again.

Please pray for my nephew Zack (Sherrie’s son), he is only ten and now doesn’t have a mother.  My sister went through a divorce about two years ago; it was not a pretty one.  My family has not been allowed much contact with Zack since my sister was shot.  Zack is with his real father.  My parents go to court Nov. 5 for partial custody rights of Zack, I only pray God will prevail and do what is right for Zack and everyone.  It is so hard as a child now days, much less when you have witnessed things this child has.  Zack was in the house when my sister’s ex-boyfriend broke in and shot her.  I only wish I could protect children from such horrible things, they are too young to see such an evil world.  I thank God everyday for putting his arms around Zack and giving him the knowledge to run and lock himself in the bathroom.  It reminds me of the song by John Michael Montgomery “The Little Girl”.  By Gods grace my nephew survived, I know he was there holding him.  My sister left a living Will behind too; it is being protested now also.  Please pray God sees forth my sister’s wishes are granted.  Zack was Sherrie’s life and all that she had, she would do anything for him.  She is not here now but I know she would like to leave what she had for him.  I know material things don’t mean a thing where we all are going, but I know sissy would like to leave him a nest egg when he got of age.  Nothing will replace the loss of his mother but she tried to leave him all she had here on Earth; memories, love and knowing Christ. 

Thank you all for continuing to read our updates.  It gives Brian and me an opportunity to express our thoughts and feelings to others.  Since our journey our eyes have been opened so much as why we are here on Earth.  We see things so much more clearly.  I get frustrated sometimes when I see people not living there life right and not praising God for all things.  God is so good and we may not understand the reason for heartache and pain but behind all things God prevails.  Good will come out of all things good or evil, it is a purpose for everything.  If it brings one more person to the Lord then it will be worth the pain in the end.  The same as my sister being shot; yes, it was an evil act but some good will come out of it, it may not be today, tomorrow or next week but God will use this act to bring someone closer to him.  The same as Chance, Satan put the tumor in his head but God allowed it.  It was God’s plans to bring Chance home at an early age.  God will sacrifice the good ones to bring one lost one closer to him.  Does it hurt the loved ones left behind?  Yes, very much so but, we are all here just trying to get to Heaven.  I don’t want anyone left behind in the end.  If it takes losing my son and my sister to save one more soul then that’s o.k., for we will all be together for eternity.

Until next time,

Well, it has been a really long time since I have wrote.  I have found it hard to even look at the web site at times.  We are all doing o.k.  It’s hard at times being a stay at home mom.  My job was to stay and take care of the littles ones. Now, it is only one.  We have good times and bad times, but we keep pushing on.  I miss doing the little crafts Chance liked to do and hearing him and Destiny fight.  I know Chance is better off though and I thank God everyday for healing him.  I just miss him a whole lot, and nothing will ever change that.  Destiny is doing pretty good.  She cries out for bru bru every once in a while.  I continue to tell her that he is with Jesus in the sky and one day we will see him again.  She continues to ask to take balloons to Chance’s grave site.  I kept all the balloons from his funeral and his time in the hospital.  I continue to blow the mylar balloons back up to send to him.  We tie a message on them as we did in the celebration service (funeral).  I write what she has to say to him and she draws him a picture on the note.  I do pretty good dealing with things but I hate to see her miss him.  It continues to break my heart when I can’t take her pain away. I know God knows what is best and we continue to trust in him and ask for his help.  I will continue to praise him in this storm no matter what.  I also thank him everyday for his salvation and his promise to see our loved ones again, for without this promise it would be no hope.

Our friend Angela Meyers (Cody’s mom) came across some poems she put on their web site on how they feel and they are so true.  I just wanted to share these poems with you and let you know how we are doing, everyone keeps asking.  Please continue to pray for us and all the other families that have lost loved ones recently.  Also, please to continue to pray for Mrs. Midkiff, she is a friend of ours that got diagnosed with brain cancer last week and it doesn’t look good.  Pray for her healing and for the family as they deal with the situation.  Pray for all the other children who are sick and suffering, that God would lay his healing hand upon them. Until next time…

                                                Love,

                                                            Desirae, Brian, Destiny and Angel Chance    

My Mommy is a Survivor

Author Unknown

My Mom is a survivor,

or so I’ve heard it said;

But I hear her crying at night

when all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night

and go to hold her hand.

She doesn’t know I’m with her

to help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach

that never wash away…

I watch over my surviving mom,

who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others…

a smile of disguise.

But through Heaven’s door I see

tears flowing from her eyes.

My mom tries to cope with death

to keep my memory alive.

But anyone who knows her knows

it is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mom…

through Heaven’s open door.

I try to tell her that angels

protect me forever more.

But I know that doesn’t help her

or ease the burden she bears.

So if you get a chance, go visit her…

And show her that you care.

For no matter what she says…

no matter what she feels.

My surviving Mom has a broken heart

My Dad is a Survivor

By Kaye Des’Omeaux

My dad is a survivor too…

which is no surprise to me.

He’s always been like a lighthouse

that helps you cross a stormy sea.

But, I walk with my dad each day

to lift him when he’s down.

I wipe the tears he hides from others.

He cries when no one’s around.

I watch him sit up late at night,

with my picture in his hand.

He cries as he tries to grieve alone,

and wishes he could understand.

My dad is like a tower of strength.

He’s the greatest of them all!

But there’s times when he needs to cry…

Please be there when he falls.

Hold his hand or pat his shoulder…

and tell him it’s okay.

Be his strength when he’s sad,

Help him mourn in his own way.

Now, as I watch over my precious dad

from the Heaven’s up above…

I’m so proud that he’s a survivor…

And, I can still feel his love!

Well, last night and today was another struggle.  We are seeing a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel though.  Chance was still very frustrated, moody, and just overall uncomfortable.  I have never in my life faced such hard times.  I have heard of people faced with such stress and heartache but I have never felt it; only imagined it.  Until you actually go through it you couldn’t imagine it.  Most of the morning Chance has screamed and fought, but rest assure brighter days are ahead.  Brian and I prayed all day and night for God to show us just a glimpse of light.  We know brighter days were ahead but it gets really tough when you face your child screaming to help them and you can’t do anything about it.  We have faced that for almost a week now.  I know God is sustaining us because physically and emotionally we are give out.  I can’t even begin to imagine how Chance feels right now.  He has endured so much physically and emotionally also; a whole lot more than us.  He is such a strong little boy.  We all have not had any sleep for about a week.  Chance’s mood goes through the night as same as it does during the day.       God has given us a sign though.  Today a nurse named Charlotte was sent to us by God.  She is great. I know God sent her to us to deliver us from this hardship and to encourage us.  She only works three days a week and she is from Danville VA.  Small world, huh?  She is our ray of sunlight.  She has a child that has asthma; her child also has been on high doses of steroid for his condition.  She knows exactly what is going on.  She came in this morning and told us rest assure we will see sun light.  Just when you tell God you don’t know if you can stand anymore he sends someone to help carry us.  God may have sent her to relieve his duties because I know he has literally carried us for several days.  She is a special woman.  She told us some children, like her own can’t withstand the drop in steroid that fast, their body reacts to it and goes hay wire.  She texted the neurosurgeon and told him (several times) he better do something with Chance.  The doctor’s only do their rounds once a day and it never fails, they only show up when the two minutes Chance is kind of calm and of course they never stay long.  You can only imagine how fast they run when they see a wild man in the bed screaming and jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean.  Sorry, I am so tired I have to make laugher of it or cry one.  We know this is only another hurdle to jump over but as we are trying to overcome this struggle God is using it for our good and helping us to become stronger.  I told Brian if God only puts on us as much as we can handle then he thinks we are pretty strong.  He must see more in us then we do.  Anyway, Mrs. Charlotte and the doctor have a long background.  They were joking about how persistent and aggressive she is.  We know God is using this quality in her to help other people out.  She actually aggravated the doctors enough to start decreasing the steroid to give Chance some relief, along with us.  Thank you God for the qualities you gave Mrs. Charlotte, she is our ray of sun light.

Up till this point the other nurses, as did we, thought Chance was just in pain.  Mrs. Charlotte opened our eyes.  He may be in some pain but the big problem is the mood swings from the steroid.  Everyone else just keeps giving him morphine to ease pain.  We need to get him off the steroid.  The doctor was going to release us to the apartment today.  We told him no thanks.  I know, we never thought we would ever say that; usually we are running out the hospital.  I will tell you one thing though don’t send me home with Chance like this, especially if we don’t have any drugs to help him out.  Mrs. Charlotte gave Chance some bendryll to sedate him and hopefully make him rest.  His body is so tense; he can’t even release his urine output.  It’s like his body is having a continuous seizure but its not, thank God; just a withdraw from the steroid. 

God continues to use Chance to save more souls; by being on the 5300 floor of surgery we have met other nurses and become friends with them.  The other night we told them of our journey and brought tears to there eyes.  Hopefully another soul saved.  God’s ending plan may not be our plan but at least Chance is glorifying God and saving souls along the way.  We are honored for that.  We are doing a 110% here on Earth to heal Chance.  We have no regrets!  We have given it all to God.  We continue to praise him because without him we would have not gotten this far.  We are pushing to the experimental protocol.  Brian and I reassure each other, because if this procedure works then we have Chance and hopefully this experiment will help other children battling cancer.  How great would that be if only a vaccine would cure cancer.  So much pain and suffering would be taken from future cancer patients.  At one time our first protocol was only an experiment, but without other people volunteering to try it and it proving to be successful, we would not have gotten these 6 months with Chance.  If Chance is not healed here on Earth then we know it is God’s plan and it is what is best for Chance.  Its not that we gave up on him.  I understand now how some parents can just call it quits when it comes to cancer, at first I couldn’t understand why parents would do that to their child.  You truly don’t understand until you have been in there shoes.  Some parents don’t even get an opportunity to walk away, God just takes them from this horrible disease, and some parents do have an option.  It is much easier to just give up and walk away at this point but that’s what Satan wants; to physically and emotionally exhaust us to give up.  Chance is still in good physical health (besides the cancer), sure he may have some disabilities but don’t we all.  He can still function as a normal human being.  If he couldn’t function on his own then we may have chosen another path but we also prayed to God if he was in that state then he would be better off with God.  We are pushing on, God may deliver Chance from this disease and he may not but it won’t be because we gave in to Satan.  Jesus was tired too carrying the cross but he never gave up.  He continued to do God’s work even though he knew what was to come of him. 

Brian and I laugh because here at Duke we know everyone and they have become our family.  We can’t walk down the hall without seeing at least one person we know.  It has become our home for 6 months.  Maybe God felt we touched all we could at Norfolk, and then he sent us to Duke and touched so many, we now need to go to NY to further touch people.  Who knows, maybe we can go up all the east coast to tell our story.  What ever God wants is what we want.

The night before our surgery (shunt and emmya reservoir) I prayed for God to take Chance if it was his will.  I don’t want to see him suffer.  I know this sounds horrible coming from his own mother but I love him that much.  You get to carry your child back into the surgical room to be put to sleep.  I gowned up to be sterile like all the other doctors and once again I took him in the room to lay him on the table.  I felt like I was laying him on the altar.  I told God here he is, do with him what you will.  I told Chance mommie and daddie love you a whole, whole lot and you know that, right?  He said he knew.  When they had put him to sleep, I layed him on the table and kissed him, tears came to my eyes, for I knew what I had prayed.  I told God if his work was done with Chance and he was to suffer then take him.  The surgical hour seemed so long.  When Chance came out I was so relieved.  I know God is not finished with Chance he has further people to touch with him.  So, our next plan is NY.  We have further work to do.  We are facing a hurdle now with the steroid but we will overcome this battle with God by our side.  Continue to pray for guidance, sustaining strength and for Chance to have some relief of this steroid.  We are being to see a glimpse of the brighter days ahead!!!!

Love,

            Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny

Well, as everyone knows we are struggling some today.  I won’t lie to you it has been hard.  Brian and I thought we faced hard times before but we had only seen a tip of the iceberg.  We may look back in the future and think these last few days were only the tip also.  I do know one thing; no matter what Chance will win this battle.  He will be healed whether here on Earth or in Heaven.  Chance is not a loser but a winner no matter what.  I praise God for that everyday.  Each day we are thankful for being one day closer for Chance’s healing.  I am so grateful for my family, friends, church, community, and my extended family through this web site.  Without your support, prayers and well wishes we could not have made it this far. 

We are not giving up; we are just facing harder times now.  I won’t give up until the last breath of air is out of my son’s body.  We owe that to Chance.  Chance is such a strong fighter and has come so far.  God has blessed us with 6 wonderful months and I wouldn’t take anything for them.  The odds are against us and we know that.  Since December 14, 2006 the odds were against us and many people and some health care providers didn’t think we would make it this far.  The only thing I have to say about that is they don’t know how mighty our God is.  We continue to trust in God and hold fast to him.  Only he knows what lies ahead.  I am so honored God choose our son as one of the few children to help save souls.  I am so proud and grateful Chance has touched so many people.  Brian and I would have never and probably will never touch as many people as Chance has touched, for that I am humbled.  When we are conceived in our mother’s womb God has a purpose for our life.  We are all put here on Earth to serve a purpose and to bring glory to God.  I know now God blessed Chance in my womb to save lives.  He has accomplished so much in only 4 years.  More than I have ever in my 30 years.  When we are conceived God knows our birth date and he knows the day he will call us back home.  No doctor can put a life expectancy on you, only God knows when your time is up.  I am so thankful he has total control, because what a mess we would make if we tried to control things. 

If God chooses to take Chance we will see him again.  I will continue to trust in God and earn my way to Heaven’s gate.  I do want to say one thing to everyone reading this; no matter what happens do not turn your back on God.  If you do turn away from Christ then Chance loses, I am asking you now please don’t.  No matter what, hold fast to God, he does what is best for all of us.  He knows the big picture we don’t.  He knows what lies ahead for Chance and God will do what is best for Chance no matter what.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.  I know how much I love Chance, but I also know God loves him even more.  I layed here tonight watching Chance sleep and praying over him.  Many times I told God if he needed another soul then take mine, let me endure these treatments. I am the sinner, not Chance, but being the age I am, I wouldn’t touch half as many people as Chance has touched.  I continue to remind myself and Brian that no matter how much it hurts us, if God takes Chance then that is what we want because God will do what is best for Chance.  It will hurt us till the day we die, but I love him that much to let him go.  He has brought us such joy and laughter.  His faith in God has been unbelievable, especially for a 4 year old.  Chance is God’s chosen one.  Please continue to pray for guidance and that the steroid will relieve the pressure on the brain.  Until next time…

Love,

Desirae, Brian, Chance, and Destiny

God gave us another sign he was with us; yesterday Chance developed a fever of 101F.   Brian and I began to worry a little.   If Chance develops a fever during chemo. we could end up in ICU or worse, we could develop a bad infection.   We automatically began to pray and ask God to help us through this and allow the fever to come down.   The nurse called the Dr. and he said to check it again in about a half hour and see what it does before they take measures.   The nurse came back 30 min. later and by this time Chance was burning up.   We had felt his head, torso, and feet; they were on fire.   When ever he gets a really high temp. his feet become really hot.   We knew when she took his temp. we would be in trouble.   The nurse felt of him and thought his temp. would be even higher also.   She took it with her thermometer and it read 99.5f, she said no way, its got to be higher than that.   She took it under his arm and under his tongue, again 99.5F (99F is not considered a temp. here).   She even got another thermometer because she thought hers was not working properly.   We know why the temp. started to come down and we know who allowed the temp. to be in a good range.   God answered our prayers.   He decreased his temperature and we give praise and glory all to God.

 
We continue to praise God for all his blessings and allowing us to make it thus far.   We don’t know what the future may hold but we do know God is with us every step of the way.   We know he will continue to guide us and protect us.   Each day we are another day closer to healing Chance whether it be in heaven or on Earth.   God will do what is best for Chance and us; we find peace in that.   Chance is in a win-win situation.   He will never loss his battle with cancer; he will be healed.   Only God knows what is best and we trust him with all our hearts.   May God bless each and every one of you.   Thank God everyday for all the many blessings he bestows upon us no matter how big or small!!!

Love,                                           

Well, where do I start?  It has been so long since my last journal entry.  Here lately I have just been helping Brian write the updates.  Chance has been so busy and active he has not given me the opportunity to update the journal.  I truly thank God everyday he has been healthy enough to run around and for me to try to keep up with him.  We all have been blessed so much. 

We are down at Duke now starting our chemo.  Today is the second day.  Chance is handling it like a champ.  The children around here truly amaze me with their strength.  The floor we are on are all chemo. children.  They range from only a few weeks old to teenagers.  It just breaks my heart these children have to endure such sickness; just hoping for another day to awaken to what most of us take for granted.  There is nothing more precious than an innocent child. 

Chance is sleeping right now.  He looks so peaceful and beautiful.  I just love to watch him sleep.  He has gotten sick twice today.  Yesterday he didn’t get sick at all.  He really is doing well though.  He had more of an appetite today.  He ate a handful of cheerios, a cracker and maybe a few french fries.  His appetite was much better today.  Yesterday, he only ate a gummy bear and a cracker all day.  Dr. G. said not to expect him to eat anything.  I am just so thankful to God he did eat a little something today.  Prayer really does work!  Being down here really makes Brian and myself be thankful for all the many blessings God has given us.  We meet someone each day that are in a worse circumstance then we are with their own child.  Brian told you in the update about the couple we meet tonight from Argentina.  Please lift them up in prayer.  I couldn’t imagine going through what they have endured in the last year.  Brian and I just can’t fathom how many sick children are in this world.  We have only seen a handful here at Duke compared to the world, but it truly breaks your heart to see these little ones suffer. 

I won’t lie to you; it is tough being on this floor.  Chance is doing great but some children are crying down the hall due to the strenuous treatments.  I just wish I could take all the pain away from these children.  We can’t take the cancer out of their bodies but we can pray for God to help them through it and to heal their bodies.  I am asking you to please do this; if you could only see the children it would humble you.  God is so great; he can do imaginable things if we only turn it over to him and pray. 

Chance went strolling this afternoon around the hospital.  We played with the Thomas train set down stairs; he really seems to enjoy it.  Tomorrow if he feels like it we may go down to a playground they have for the cancer children.  We have to get written permission from Dr. G. first though saying we are able.  Chance is looking forward to that.  We visited the helicopter pad tonight and rode the tram back and forth.  Anytime we can get out of our room we take advantage of it.  No matter what time of night or day we try to get out of the room as much as possible.  I told Brian we need to take advantage of it as often as we can, you never know what tomorrow may bring (physically he might not be able to the next day).  Chance enjoys getting outside to enjoy the weather.  We sat in our window sill today.  Chance told me how beautiful the day was today and that the view we had was beautiful.  He loves outdoors.  Well, I better get off this thing and go to bed; it’s about 11:45 p.m.  We have another busy day tomorrow.  God bless each and every one of you.  Please don’t forget to lift Kassidy up in your prayers along with Chance. 

Love,

Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny

     Chance is having a wonderful day today. He was eager to awake and get to the hospital for radiation (never thought I would say that). He was a little ham this morning. He received a Cat scratch toy from McDonald’s yesterday, he loves it. The cat figure makes tooting noises under his arm pit (very loud and obnoxious). Needless to say it was the thrill of the day for Chance. The doctors seem to like it as much as Chance did; they all played with it during his radiation. Chance was tooting on all the doctors and nurses, with the toy. His spirits are really good today. We have to watch him though, he just gets up and goes when he pleases (we still try to walk with him just in case). He is improving physically everyday. We thank God every single day.

     After radiation Chance wanted to go shopping (at Wal-Mart of course), he purchased a toy and ate a good breakfast. His appetite has been very good today. Thank the Lord! Chance has continued to tease his sister all day (which I also thought I would never be excited to say that). It is a joy to see them teasing and irritating one another. Destiny and Chance both seem to stand their ground (must have gotten that from their daddy; ha, ha, ha!!!).

     Chance’s central lines pulled and flushed really well today. Yesterday we had to go to clinic to declott the lines. God blessed us once again. If the nurses can’t pull or flush from at least one line, then the lines have to be replaced (another surgery). We are very thankful. Brian and I are maintaining the care of the central lines. (It’s no biggie.) We still continue to pray for Chance’s eye sight. Something is not right with his pupil in his right eye. We don’t know whether it is from the tumor swelling from radiation or what. It’s a little frustrating because no one knows exactly what’s going on with it. We mentioned it to the doctors. They say it is the least of their concerns, which we understand that but would like the best for Chance. I would just hate to neglect something that may be fixable. I know we are being greedy, but God does say to ask for EVERYTHING whether it be large or small. God has already blessed in so many ways each and every day and we can’t begin to thank him enough.

     We would like to thank everyone for their prayers, concerns and generosity. We don’t know how we will ever thank you all. Your well wishes are an inspiration to us all. When ever we get down, we read our bible, and then read our well messages. You truly don’t understand how much they mean to us. We love each and every one of you. Hope you have a good day!!

       Sorry, I have not been given the opportunity to finish the stories of Chance’s faith. It has been a little hard to find time lately. The doctors have kept us busy this past week. Thursday was a little hard too, Chance had a bad day. He got sick a couple of times that night and his head was hurting. We seem to think now, it was the busy day he had with stem cell harvesting and radiation on top of that. We are enjoying being home today. It was really nice to see the mountains and having the cows for neighbors. You don’t see any down at our apartment in Durham, only city life. It was really nice to see the hospital in our rear view mirror yesterday. Thank God for his many blessings.

            Chance’s faith; Reading back I did skip one! When Chance had his first resection (brain surgery) Brian and I were overwhelmed with joy to see him the first time after the procedure. The first thing we did was kiss him and told him was how much we loved him. The second thing, we told him everything was going to be o.k. He squenched his eyes open (due to the swelling) and said “I know”. Brian and I looked at one another smiled and embraced each other. We knew then physically, God was with Chance the whole time. We knew spiritually God would be with him but, Chance then told us God had him under his wings the whole time. Chance then began to ask for something to drink and a brownie. We were so relieved, we knew right off the bat he could talk and still had an appetite. Another blessing and sign of faith God has given us!

            The fourth sign God gave us was unbelievable. When Chance was a little baby his nursery was Noah’s Ark. When he moved upstairs to his “big boy” bed I still wanted to use his decorations and stuffed animals so, I painted a jungle theme on his walls. It took me forever to paint life size animals and a mural. One wall of the mural contains a tree. I wanted Chance to write his name on one of the limbs of the tree for keepsakes. He went upstairs with a permanent marker and signed his name. While we were upstairs he wanted to trace his hands on the wall. I told him sure, why not. He wanted his hands in blue (his favorite color). I asked him where he would like to put his hands, he stated above his bed. We traced his hands and went back down stairs. Papa Harman arrived a short while later. He told papa of his hands and asked papa to do him a favor. He asked papa to go up stairs and draw a cross between his hands. We all just looked at one another! Amazed and overwhelmed with joy papa fulfilled his request. He then wanted his baby sister to trace her hands above his own. The faith Chance has shown us through this journey is unbelievable, everyday he teaches us more then we could learn in a life time.

           Chance taught us another faith lesson through the radiation marks. During radiation the doctors draw permanent lines on his belly and chest with markers. The markers allow them to properly line him up for each treatment. When Brian and I saw these marks for the first time, all we could see were the x’s and the thought of the side effects of the treatment. When Chance looked down for the first time he said, “Mommie look! They drew a big blue cross on my belly”. First we did not see the marks that way. Chance was quick to bring it to our attention the positive things in life. We have learned so much over the past few months looking through a child’s eye. They never see the negative, bad things in life, only positive, good things. I think we could all learn a few life lessons, if we would only take the time to look at life through a child’s perspective.

              Chance has taught us so much about life. God has used him to teach us many lessons and help us find our way down this long bumpy road. We are so blessed each and everyday. No matter how bumpy the road gets, God always manages to show us the way and guides us down the right path. We thank him each and everyday. God bless you all.

In Christian Love,

It's about 5:30am this morning. We have not slept much Chance has been coughing his head off. Brian and I are concerned about this cold Chance has. We have another round of harvesting stem cells at 8am and then radiation around 2pm. It worries us because Chance will be put to sleep for the radiation and with a cold it is more difficult and more side effects, likely dealing with the airway. He just can't seem to kick this cold. I am eager to start radiation to see how the cancer reacts but also worried it won't react. I know God is with us though, so let his will be done. Chance was a comedian before bed again tonight. He is getting back to his old self every once in a while, so full of laughter and life. We thank God everyday for the many blessings he has given us. No matter what the out come of this situation, I thank God for sharing Chance with us. God is great!

     Chance has shown Brian and myself more faith then you can even imagine. I have been wanting to write and tell everyone about this special child (Chance). I know God talks through him because I have seen and heard things no other 4 year old would likely think about. There are several things Chance has said through our journey; most of our friends and relatives already know about them, but I want everyone else to know the miracles God has done for us.

           The first one was when we were first diagnosed (before Christmas) Chance had finished his bath and I had began to dry him off on the bed with his sister. We were all tickling and chasing each other around the bed. Chance all of a sudden stopped, looked me right in the eye and said real seriously "Mommie you know we are all going to go to heaven." I about feel in the floor. I ask him (thinking someone had been recently talking to him about God) who told you that? He told me, "It says so in the bible." I first got scared thinking God was trying to prepare me for what was to come soon. Then Chance and I continued to speak of heaven. He asked me were there birds in heaven, I said sure. He then asked were there cars in heaven? I told him no, angels have wings they don't need cars. He wanted to know how God put wings on angels. I told him God just placed them on their backs. Chance then became satisfied and began playing with normal 4 year old toys (monster trucks of course). I spoke with God that night asking him, "O.K. God I know you might be preparing me for is to come. I might not understand, but I know it is in our best interest." Little did I know then, God was just reminding me at the time; we will all go to heaven if we only believe and have faith.

                 The second message from God, through Chance, was the day we came to Duke. We had the Tahoe loaded up with just about everything but the kitchen sink. We were preparing to stay in Durham for months just in case we got that news when we arrived down here. It was about 6am in the morning and of course still dark outside. We put the kids in their car seats and began down the road. I asked Chance what he wanted to watch in the car? Scooby-doo, Cars, or John Deere? His reply to me was I want to read my bible. I looked at him with amaze. What other 4 year old would want to read the bible instead of watching a children's movie? I was overwhelmed with joy. His faith and belief in God is so much stronger then Brian and I. If we only had half we would not worry about anything. Of course Brian and I do believe and have strong faith, but our 4 year old is even stronger!!! We physically knew then, God was with us going to Duke.

                I have to leave you at the second message from God. I will continue later today about the others. We must get ready for our upcoming challenges today. Remember, God is with you through the good times and the bad, no matter what.

God bless you all,

Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny

First I want to apologize for the lack of journal entries. Our web page for the entries has been down. I attempted to write two other times (both really good stuff and two pages long each) just to find out I couldn't post them and couldn't save them to anything. Very fustrating! Anyway, Bridget and our cousin Suz finally got us straight. We had a really good weekend. Lots of visitors and shopping. I know Brian has told you some of that. Chance is in pretty good spirits. We went to Chuckie Cheese's for lunch today. I will try to post some new pictures this weekend of us. He gets a little frusterated because he can't move like he use to (physical therapy will help) but, considering what he has been through, he is really doing well.

        I want to talk today about childhood brain tumors. The doctors seem to believe Chance was born with the larger brain tumor. His brain has accomadated for the size of the tumor and adjusted to the pressure in the brain, especially since he had no other syptoms but occasional vomitting. Even his lobes had not even shifted. We would have never been diagnosised if the tip of the tumor (about the end of your pinky) had not touched the cerebrial fluid, this triggered Chance to vomitt once a week. Childhood brain tumors have been linked to a certain chromosome malfunctioning. All your cells in your body have a specific place to go and job to do. What happened to Chance was in this particular part of the brain, his cells continued to multiply when they should have stopped, therefore causing an irregular mass of tumor (or cells). The doctors feel it was not malignant at first but then became cancerous. The scary thing is you can be born with this chromosome malifunction or it can just develop anytime between the ages of newborn to 21 years of age. Very scary, huh? Your child could be fine for 12 years then all of a sudden the chromosomes don't add up and then he or she develops a brain tumor. During our stay at the hospitals, we have meet children with brain tumors ranging from 2 weeks old to 18 years old. I don't mean to scare everyone to death and make you want to go get your child a cat scan but I want you to appreciate everyday you have with your own child. Brian and I never knew for 4 yrs. Chance was walking around with a brain tumor much less cancer. It is still sometimes hard to phathom. Anyone who has known him knew how active and full of energy he was. We would have never known it. I do want to tell anyone that is an advocate for a child, whether you are the mother, father, or guardians, you know your child best. You know when something is not right with your child, maybe a gut feeling or something. I encourage you to be persistent with doctors, you know your child. If Brian and I would have not been so persistent with Chance, we would have not been diagnosed this early in the stage. Some stories we have read took two years of going back and forth to the doctors complaining of something not adding up with their child. Be persistent, if doctors do eventually run tests for that particular symptom and find nothing, then that is wonderful. You can rest assure, but I would hate to look back and wish I would have been more persistent. Each year 3,100 children will be diagnosed with a childhood brain tumor. It doesn't seem like a lot if you think about how many children are in the world. We never knew this world even existed, until we became part of it. I just want everyone to be aware of how brain tumors develop and the symptoms. Listed below are some symptoms of brain tumors. I hope this may educate everyone on what to look for but I hope you never have to apply it. If we can help diagnosis anybody in the early stage of this disease I hope we can. I know we are not the first set of parents going through this battle but, unfortunately I know we won't be the last. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you and may God bless you each and every day. Our strength comes from God and he continues to carry us when we feel we can not stand. I ask on more thing of you; enjoy, appreciate, and love your children and family each and every day because we never know what we are walking around with or what may be around the corner. Never let a loved one leave without telling them good bye and how much they really mean to you.

Childhood Brain Tumor Symptoms:

                 Vomitting, Slurred Speech, Lack of coordination, Loss of balance, Headaches, Head tilting, Irregular eye movement, dizziness, seizures,  and staring spells (there are some other symptoms but they are less likely and harder to determine), these are the most predominate!!

We love each and everyone of you,

Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny   

Well, I finally found the opportunity to write again tonight. Chance is having a wonderful night. He came out of his procedures really well. We have been so fortunate (God's blessings of course) that Chance handles anesthia well. Some children come out screaming or have vomitting after sedation. Thank the Lord for his many blessings!! Chance has been sedated I guess 12 times or more, just about every procedure. He wakes up so peaceful from sedation. I truly know God is with him and gives Chance peace. I can't express how much we have been blessed, not just now through this crisis but our whole life. We have taken so much for granted even the little things God has always led me down the right path. Brian feels the same way too. God has given both of us such wonderful in-laws and support through our church family and beyond.

Chance is still up right now. He is having a wonderful night. He is hitting golf balls right now (unbelievable huh?). It is amazing how these children can have brian surgery just a week ago and be able to hit golf balls tonight. I know I wouldn't be like that. Every time I go to the hospital I look around and see all these beautiful children. They are all a witness for God and inspire me everyday. No matter what procedure the doctors or nurses do to them, they always end up trusting them or giving them a smile after it is all done. I am truly amazed. If you want to find true, unconditional love here on earth just look into the eye of a child. No matter what you do to them they still love you no matter what. I know why God says children are so special and have a free ticket to heaven. They are truly innocent. I saw this little 6yr. old girl today. She was bald from chemo. but I have never seen someone more beautiful in my life. She was walking with her mom and her I.V. pole smiling and laughing. If you ever get an opportunity and want to see something amazing visit a children's cancer ward. They are so precious. I have learned so much from my 4yr. old  in the last 2 months, then I have my whole life. He has shown me more faith and love for God then you can ever imagine. Some nights I cry at his bedtime prayers, not for sadness but joy. I will tell you just one example; Chance's great granny Harman was sick (with a cold) while we were at home last week. She was concerned about getting him sick but she wanted to see him. She decided to come by the house and talk through the window. Chance did just that and put his hand on the window to match up to hers, that night the first thing he prayed was for granny to get better. Chance is such an inspiration to me. He always puts everyone else first. The other night we saw someone who wrecked on the road, that night the first thing he prayed was to help the people in the truck. Brian and I had forgotten all about the whole thing. We finally had to mention to Chance to start praying for his boo also. He would pray for Joshua but not himself. He does now, but everyone else is first then at the end he prays for himself. What a gift from God!!! I thank the Lord everyday he has given me with Chance. No matter what the outcome God has blessed us with four wonderful years (hopefully many more) and I wouldn't change a thing.

I have so much to tell everyone, I don't know were to begin. I will have to end soon though, it's getting a little lengthy. (Chance is sitting in the floor playing with some dinosaurs a nurse gave him. Just smiling and loving life for all its worth.) Tomorrow I will try to write about the inspirations and faith Chance has shown us, if we only have half his faith we would have no worries. Thanks again for all your prayers, when Brian and I get lonely and need some earthly support we read our well wishes. It picks us up and keeps us pushing on. God Bless you all!

In Christian Love,

Desirae, Brian, Chance, and Destiny

Well, first I want to apologize for the gramatical and spelling errors, also for the lack of journaling. Brian just informed me (Desirae) I was in charge of the journaling part of the web site. He runs the updates. It has been hard to find time here lately to update the site. The doctors keep you busy pretty much most of the day. Our day began at 6:45 am here in the surgery part of the hospital. It is now 2:15pm and we are still here waiting for doctors and to be informed about the next couple of days (stem cell harvesting and radiation). I will try to get as much wrote as possiable and maybe have to update more later. I began writing this morning waiting for surgery and if you don't post it right away it is no way to save it (I found out the hard way). I will try to be quick.

First off I can't begin to say how much we appreciate all the love and support from family and friends. Friends I mean every get well wish and prayer. We love all you guys and couldn't make it without your support. I also want to thank everyone for all the donations and especially for the laptop. It has allowed us to keep you guys up to date and read all the love and support from everyone. People say this bodily world is cruel and selfish. I would have to debate that because we have seen more generousity and love then you can even imagine. It is truly unreal. Brian and I have grown so much over the last few months. Well, I have to go here comes Brian I will continue journaling later tonight. One thing we have learned, you are on doctor's time. God bless each and every one of you.

Love,

Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny