This afternoon and tonight has gotten some better.  Chance’s blood pressure is more stable and his heart rate is getting lower, but it is still a little bit higher than what we would want.  We had a CT scan and the doctors said it looked good, then we had an x-ray, I haven’t heard anything from it yet.  He has been talking to us, and comprehending with us, also kidding with us, so this is all good to see.  His speech is a little slow and his reactions are slow too, but this is normal from all that has happened today.  The doctors still are not sure what caused the seizure; they are leaning toward an infection.  They think that his reservoir or shunt may be infected which caused him to get meningitis.  They can take care of this through antibiotics so that is the good thing.  They also hooked him up to an EEG which would show any other seizure activities, but it was very positive that it didn’t show any activity, so thank God for good news.  I caught myself several times today wondering what to pray for, we are just praying for no suffering.  Chance is not going through this just to go through it, there is a reason.  Now here is where we need your prayers and I know God will lead us in the right direction and what is right for Chance.  Since he has this infection in his shunt we have a few options that we will discuss with the doctors in the morning, pray that the doctors and we make the right decision.  The choices we have are to replace the shunt and the reservoir and yes that means another surgery, more time healing maybe backing up our trip to NY.  Another one is to take both out and wait till the infection is gone and then replace them, I don’t know if we want to wait this long.  The other one is leave them in and treat them with antibiotics and hopes it kicks it.  I am not sure which way is the right one, but we will pray about it and the right one will be it.  We were very scared today and didn’t know exactly what was going on, but this afternoon we started looking back and all of it had lined up perfect, it couldn’t of happened at a better time.  We were in the hospital with a great nurse and God knew this the whole time, every now and then I wished he would just give me a heads up, but that is Ok.  I thank God for another day, it started tough, but the sun shined again.  Keep praying and I will keep you guys updated, we are not giving up, we are tired, but we are motivated and we are going to keep focused.  Well I am going to get ready to go out and trade with Desirae, it is almost midnight.  Tonight is the first night that both of us were not beside him all night long, but we have to try to break it up tonight, because we can’t sleep next to his bed, well we are not supposed to, and I may try to sneak in a small nap.  God has been great and that will never change, just keep praising and focusing on him.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.      Once again thanks to everyone that has come down to support us.  Thank you to everyone for the well wishes and the emails, the encouraging words keep us focused to get Chance healthy and back to Floyd.

          I wanted to give you an update in case you have heard something this morning.  Chance had a pretty good night, he sleep pretty well.  This morning he wanted to do sticker book and read Scooby books early, so I called Nana in and she started playing with him.  One of our favorite nurses came by to see him and he talked to her and gave her five.  He had gotten up and walked to the bathroom and had a bowel movement.  He was in the best mood he had been in, in probably a couple of weeks.  He had said he was ready to go back to the apartment and that he was hungry, he had also drank some too, so we thought we were on the right track.  I told Nana, Desirae and I were going to take a nap in the room while they read, she woke us up and Chance was in a seizure.  He was in it for about 3 minutes.  We have been in intensive care since about 10:00 this morning.  Ct scan didn’t show anything and his blood work hasn’t shown anything.  They are not real sure what could have caused it.  Right now he is opening his eyes and talking a little bit to us, it is hard to understand him.   We are hoping and praying that this is just a fluke, but with where we are in our journey we are prepared for anything now.  He has been in a pretty good mood, but he just seems to be heavily sedated, don’t know if that is from the medicine or from the seizure.  We are very thankful for Nana being there, the nurse that we had today, and God for giving us the peace we have needed at times today.  I just give God all of the praise because Chance is going to win; he has already told us that his boo boo is healed.  That may be here or may be in heaven and I think God that we will be able to see him again if that is the case.  This fight is not over yet, but we don’t know if we are down to minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years, but like I said before who does.  Keep us in your prayers because we don’t know what is around the corner, but God will be with us and nothing will ever change that.  God is holding Chance right now, we are just praying for him not to suffer.  The doctors have been positive so far, they told us if everything was ok through the night that we might get back to a normal room tomorrow.  Other than that I don’t know what to say right now, but we love each one of you and we love God and we thank him for what he has done for us.  I will try to update again tonight or if something changes I will update when I can.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

          We have had an improvement today.  Chance has had a couple good hours today.  If you read Desirae’s journal you will know most of the story.  We had a super nurse today, and God really did send her here, no other question.  The problems Chance is having is from the pressure medicine we are almost sure.  They have started decreasing it today and we have seen some improvement, they will decrease even more tomorrow and probably take him off of it on Sunday.  It still has been a very tough day, Chance has gotten sick a few times, and we don’t know what is causing this.  We are just turning it over to God and putting it in his hands, we want to do more, but we can’t, we are doing all we can.  Tonight we walked over to 5100 to tell some of the nurse’s bye, this was hard because we know we won’t be back on that floor anymore fighting this bad disease.  They have been so great to; we are going to miss them because they have been our family through all of this.  They got right in the trenches with us when he was sick from chemo or they were there to give a hug, or even play games with him when he was up to it.  I just don’t know how to thank them.  I know when we first got here, the first night on 5100 we saw a sign over a girls door that said “Last Chemo” and Desirae and I said we can’t wait till we can do that, but that is not going to happen here.  We hope to maybe get to the apartment tomorrow, but we won’t leave until Chance is ready.  We don’t know what tomorrow will hold, but we do know who does, it has been tough, but God is stronger.  We just pray that God will keep giving us the strength and we know he will.  We may be down to days, months, or even years, but is that any different than anyone else in this world.  Keep praying for us and thanks so much for the support, you don’t know how much it helps us each day.  God’s will, will be done, we don’t know what that is, but we do know that it is best for Chance. 

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S. Desirae pretty much summed up the rest of the last 10 days and today in the journal, you might check it out as well.

P.S.S We had two storms today in Durham, after the first one we saw God's beutiful rainbow and after the second one the sun was shining, we know the sun will shine again, but we have to get through the storm to see the sun.

           Today has been another tough day.  Chance was in pain, hungry, frustrated, tired, and aggravated most of the day.  We have had a hard time getting his pain under control, most of the time he is either sleeping or yelling for something.  Some of this we hope is being caused by some of his medication that we are going to start taking him off of tomorrow.  We are hoping that this will take care of the mood swings he has been having.  Desirae and I have been taking turns trying to keep him comfortable and under control then we switch places.  One time today we really thought Chance was getting depressed and maybe starting to give up, that is when we got him out of bed and made him walk and do a few other things.  Chance and we have come too far to give in now, that is not going to happen, he is too much of a fighter to let this happen.  Now if it is God’s will for this to happen so be it, but it won’t be because we let it happen.  We got a little more information today on our long term plan, hopefully over the next day to days we will get out to the apartment.   For this to happen Chance will have to take his medication orally, we won’t leave if we can’t get his pain under control.  Monday we will have lab draws done in the clinic for some reason and then if Chance feels like it we will head home for the rest of the week.  We then will be off till July 10, that day we will have to come back down to Durham and get our stitches out and meet with Dr. G. to talk about the plans with N.Y.  The N.Y. deal is a two, maybe three day trip that we will fly up and they will inject an antibody into his emmya and it will hopefully kill all of the bad cells.  We have another family that may be on this trip with us, her name is Emily Hollis and she is 5, you can check her webpage out at www.emilyhollis.info.  We have spoken with her family a couple of times; they have been super to trade stories with.  If Emily has to go with us, they will be the first two children sent to N.Y. for this experimental procedure from Duke.  We have been praying a lot and still holding strong to GOD, he is the only way we have made it through the last few days.  Sometimes Desirae and I don’t even know how we get up or even keep going, but we do know that God is constantly carry us everyday and he will help us get over this mountain.  There will be sunny days ahead, but we have to get to the top to see them, we can’t turn back now.  Thanks so much for the mail, email, and well wishes, we enjoy each and every one of them so much.  The support is keeping us motivated as well.  Please pray that Chance’s head and stomach pain will improve, and that the medicine will quit giving the side effects that are affecting his attitude.  Pray that we make the right choice on when to be discharged, most of the time we are ready to get out, but this time we want to make sure he is ready to get out.  Keep praying for us to have strength everyday and that we can get to N.Y healthy, strong, and ready for this experimental procedure.  Every chemo was experimental till it started working and we are hoping that this is the case with this one.  God is leading us here for a reason, why I don’t know, but he does, we are not questioning it and he is in total control!  We are thankful for another day closer, and great support group, and that we have someone a lot bigger than any problem that we will cross during the rest of this journey.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.      Please keep Cali Moody in your prayers, the 1 year old that had surgery the other day, her grandmother is from Floyd, she is having a little bit of an eye problem right now.  Also, they have not got back the pathology report so that will determine which direction they go next.

P.S.S   One highlight today was when Chance was in one of his few good moods he showed us how he would fight Satan if he ever saw him, looked just like a boxer, he had both fists going at it.

          Today has been another one of those days.  It has been a tough day, but once again we are one more day closer to getting healed.  This morning Chance was really aggravated and wanted to eat, but we couldn’t let him, because he was going to get sedated for the surgery.  We finally made it till 1:30 to do the surgery, he came out in the same mood very upset and hurting, but this is understandable for what he has gone through.  We got back to 5300 pretty quick so that was good.  He has slept fair and then woke up complaining about his head and belly.  They put both devices in, the shunt is a very, very small tube that allows the fluid to drain to his belly and keep the pressure off the brain, and the emaya is a small button cap device that is all under the skin that they can put a needle into to draw spinal fluid and put treatment in as well.  We are hanging in there, it is really hard to keep seeing him hurt, but we know that Chance is not just going through this for any reason, God has a reason and hopefully one day he will be able to tell everyone about.  Hopefully tomorrow he will be better pain wise, I think that the inside of his head is OK, but the outside is hurting which is understandable.  Our next step is to heal from this and start getting the paper work ready to go to New York, we are ready to keep battling, Desirae and I talked tonight that Chance and us have come too far to quit now, that is what Satan wants us to do, give up and quit on God’ promise.  That is not going to happen.  Chance has told us numerous times that God is healing and has healed his boo boo, so we are believing the same thing.  Hard days just make the better ones that much better.   It is still tough to look outside and see everything going on wishing we were at home and everything was back to normal, but it will be one day.  Tomorrow will be our 5th day in the hospital with out going outside, but hopefully that will change by this weekend or early next week, we don’t know our next plan yet.  Today we have had several visitors in our nurses from 5100, we love them so much, we feel like they are close friends that we went to school with, we just think so much of them.  Today they visited left signs and cards for us before we returned to the floor.  If going to New York is our next step we are really going to miss them, but Chance can always come back and visit.  Earlier in the week I forgot to mention some of the other visitors we had in Howard and Nancy Conduff, Roger and Jennifer Hollandsworth, and Kurt and Jennifer Goff.  Right now Chance is not up to seeing anyone, but hopefully when we get home things might be different.  Just keep praying things will get better pain wise, and that his head will heal, and that we can get in to the New York program and that it will respond to this.  Also, just pray that this disease won’t spread anymore so we can hit it again.  Chance has not been able to open his mail today, but I heard it was a lot, he will love that tomorrow, thank you for our cards and Destiny too, she likes mail as well.  Also, I got a email yesterday from a person that said they had been worried about writing because they didn’t know what to say or they thought they might not say the right thing, please don’t think that, Desirae and I love emails and well wishes even if it is only for you to tell us that you are there, we know you care, but we love to read them so much.  Being away from home and having some challenging days are tough, but you guys make it so much better.  Till tomorrow thanks for everything and keep the prayers going our journey is still moving and God has the path ready.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

           It has been a pretty good day, we have received some pretty good news and have a plan of what lies ahead over the next few weeks hopefully, but once again this all depends on how Chance’s body reacts to the surgeries plus the tumor progression.  Today Chance was in a pretty good mood for most of the day, but still had some head pains; we didn’t have to give him as much pain medicine today so we are very thankful for that.  He still slept some and is resting well; he also had a couple bowel movements which was good too.  He ate and drank some; he is improving so we are pushing on.  We met with Dr. Grant a little while ago and he said that the shunt will go in tomorrow with the reservoir and that he and Dr. G. had talked about going to New York for treatments.  Dr. Grant had sent some other patients up there and he said that he had seen signs of the treatment working, so this is our hope.  We enjoy talking to him just like he is a close friend that will direct us in the right way.  We asked if it was him what he would do and he was in total agreement to try it.  Right now we have to get the shunt and reservoir in and get Chance healed then, test the reservoir to make sure it works right, and then make plans to get to New York for this treatment.  The way we understand it is that it would only be a couple of days every other week or something like that, I don’t think we would have to stay up there, but right now our main goal is getting healed from the surgeries and getting him back strong.  God is so great; we have just been at so much peace with this.  God’s will be done, but let me set this up for you.  We have prayed, as well as you, for us to make the right decision.  Let me tell you why God is great and why he has complete control and has been listening.  We have made one decision about Chance’s form of treatment since day one and that was to go back in and get some more.  I think that the reason why we are in the situation that we are in right now is because the chemo Chance was on was taking his hearing and God didn’t want that to happen, so now we are off that protocol, no more harmful chemo to his hearing.  Now we are trying to decide what kind of shunt to put in, well today we found out that we only have one choice because the doctor said the on/off was too big of a risk and that we couldn’t even be part of the protocol here, so we believe that it wouldn’t have worked for us.  So now we are going to be directed to going to New York soon to try this antibody treatment that has had some success at one of the top places in the country.  He will answer you, may not be what you want, but it will be what is best.  We are still praying to get stable to get to New York, but if we don’t get to that point it is OK, it is God’s will and he doesn’t make mistakes.  God has directed us in the right direction since day one, we didn’t always agree with which way we were going or what we had been dealt with, but God knows the big picture (and we wouldn’t want it any other way) and who knows what the future holds. Chance and we are living life like everyone of you should, we only have right now, don’t worry about tomorrow or next week or next month, it may not get here, enjoy today!  God has given you a lot to be thankful for, so let him know that you appreciate it and live for him, pray about your problems, don’t give into them.  Any of us may have lived our last day, but make sure you live everyday like it is your last, and make sure if something should happen to you, you know where you will be spending eternity.  God has touched us so much and we are thankful for it, we are praying for a good surgery tomorrow and good days ahead, please keep praying for us and Thank You for everything. 

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S. The other family that I mentioned the other day, Mark Shortt’s sister Becky, her granddaughter just got out of surgery and they got it all, they think it was malignant, but it will take 5-7 days to know.  Keep them in your prayers over the next several days because we have been down that road.

          I wanted to give you an update this morning and tell you a story and give you another prayer request.  Yesterday when Chance was sleeping I went out with Destiny, while I was out I sat down next to this young couple and the husband was on the phone and his wife was talking to Destiny a little bit.  I could here him talking about that they were hoping it was smooth and that they could get it all.  We he got off I told him that I wasn’t trying to eaves drop, but asked if it was a brain tumor and they said yes, it was there 1 year old girl.  They were just like we were, scared, upset and had a lot of questions.  I felt good to talk and to help them out the best I could.  The more they ask we got to talking about how we were diagnosed.  I told them that I was from the Blacksburg, Roanoke area, and he said that his family was from there.  I found this amazing and he told me that they were right outside of Christiansburg, in a small county called Floyd, WHAT, that is where we are from.  I told him about coaching basketball there and he said that they won the state championship in 97’ and that he was at the game.  I asked him if he could remember Travis and Coach Cantrell and he said oh yeah and I explained their story.  I asked him more and he told me that he was Mark Shortt’s nephew, Brenda’s son.  This I found very amazing, they live in Buies Creek, NC now and graduated from Campbell University.  They are in surgery now, her tumor was ¼ of her brain, but it hadn’t spread, please pray for them today and that the pathology will be good news.  The other story I would like to tell you is that last night I was trying to get my computer to work, but it is always too slow to do anything because of the connection, so last night I finally got to the Joel Osteen website and for some reason God let us watch live video from their website.  Anyone that knows computers this it is hard to watch videos on direct hook ups, but last night GOD knew we needed that.  I would love to meet Joel one day, or at least talk to him, he is amazing, and the words that he speaks from what God gives him have really helped us get through this.  Please keep the other family in your prayers and keep us, we are improving and hope to get a shunt tomorrow and a reservoir, then maybe get out of the hospital on Thursday or Friday, but once again we are one day, no sorry, one hour at a time.  Thank You.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

           Well friends here is the news.  We have not received the news yet back on the spinal fluid, is this good or bad, Dr. G. said that it didn’t matter because of what he had seen from the MRI the other day.  This means what we have is a very bad tumor and it is very hard to beat.  The doctors are trying to decide what kind of shunt to put in or what our next step is.  Once again we have come to a very tough place in this journey.  Right now our prime objective is to get Chance stable enough to get out of the hospital, will we get to that point, we hope, but I don’t know.  Right now he has had a pretty good day, he has not eaten a lot and hasn’t drank a lot, one of the reasons for both is that he is getting TPN and fluids at the same time so his hunger is not there and his being thirsty is not there, so we don’t know if we are heading down hill or those are causing some of this.  He hasn’t been sick and he has been awake for most of the day.  Thank you for everyone sending mail, he has been opening it this afternoon.  We are on a very high and low roller coaster right now.  We thought that the roller coaster before was bad, but it wasn’t nothing compared to over the last 10 days.  I just want you to know that your prayers are working and please don’t lose the faith in GOD, whatever happens is GOD’s will and that is what is best for Chance.  Right now we don’t want for him to suffer, but we would like to get an opportunity to hit this with another chemo.  I am asking for prayers for Chance to not to suffer, then I am asking that we make the right decision from here, then I am asking for you to just pray that we will continue to keep our strength through these tough times.  Like I said before, this fight is not over and we are not giving up, so don’t think that this is over.  We are going to give Chance every opportunity that we can for him to beat this, it is just that our options are getting less and we don’t know what tomorrow holds, but we do know who holds it.  Well Chance just woke up and he is in a pretty good mood so let’s go enjoy these precious hours, I will try to update again tomorrow, thank you, we love every one of you that reads and supports us.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny 

            Sorry for the late update, we were pretty tired so we took some naps today.  We have some news that is good and may lead to be great.  Chance slept real good last night after we started him on the pressure medicine and the pain medicine.  We were supposed to go into surgery today at 8:00, but for some reason we didn’t start till about 12:00.  Today Desirae and I were struggling again, we continue to pray and believe in total healing either here or in Heaven.  The fortunate thing is Joel Osteen came on at 8:00 and 9:00 this morning and let me tell you it hit home.  We have been turning this situation over a little bit at a time, and then when we get good news we start telling God what we want.  After hearing Joel today we have turned the whole situation over and we are OK with what we have to deal with that day.  Today has been a great day, Chance surgery went well and it released the pressure, he has been in some pain, but we hope it will get better by the hour.  He has been in a better mood.  Here is where we need your prayers tonight and through the next couple of days.  When the surgeon came out to talk to us he told us the fluid was clear, for the spinal fluid to be negative this was a must.  This does not guarantee that the fluid will be negative, but he did say that it could go either way, so we still have hope.  We started in the right direction, now I don’t know what will happen from here, but I do know who does.  I thank God for me finally seeing to turn it all over to him; the results will not come till you do this.  Now the results still may not be what we want, but it is his will and his will is what is best for Chance.  Hopefully tomorrow we will get information that we want, we will make a decision from this information and go with it.  Right now we are enjoying today and we will deal with tomorrow; tomorrow.  We didn’t have to go to the intensive care, we have a regular hospital room which is high class compared to the intensive care.  The nurses here are not bad, but no where near as good as the ones on 5100.  Well just pray for his head not to hurt and for the news of the spinal fluid to be negative.  We are thankful for another day and another good day.   We are also thankful for our preacher Mike Varner and his wife Donna for coming down to be with us.  Everyone pray hard tonight and I will update as soon as I get any information.  We still give God all of the praise and now we have turned it all over to him, we are going to just sit back except, make decisions and push on, he is in complete control and he will give us complete strength to keep fighting like Chance is fighting.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.  If you notice that my updates don’t make since at times, half the time I am doing them with one eye open or half asleep, just over look things that don’t make since, hopefully this will improve over the next few days.  We are pretty fatigued and tired.

          Well here we are.  Today we didn’t get any relief from the pressure.  It has been a struggle through the night and through mid day.  We paged the doctor twice just to ask him questions, he raised his pressure medicine, but that didn’t work either.  Chance was in so much pain and discomfort, so we decided to bring him in to the ER.  That went well; on the way over I had a peace that we had made the right decision.  Desirae and I had been at his side all night and day and had been praying for a sign what to do.  They gave him morphine and the made him relax and we got to see our Chance for awhile.  They also did a CT scan and it showed similar things to that of Thursday.  Our surgeon Dr. Grant is a super guy so we feel real comfortable with what is going on.  We know this is what is right because we have been praying so hard for the direction to go in.  We are now in a room and waiting for tomorrow.  Tomorrow they will put a catheter in his head and draw the fluid off; this will show them what is next and also give Chance some relief which we want for him really bad.  The last three days have been really tough.  Now for what the results could show.  One of the ventricles in Chance’s brain is backed up.

1. If the spinal fluid is negative and has dead cells in it then it is clogging up the ventricle, this would be really good news – solution – shunt to release the fluid and find out about more treatment later.
2. If the spinal fluid is positive for cells, then this means it is progression – solution – put a shunt in with a on/off magnet to turn it off when we do chemo through the reservoir  and then turn it back on to let it flow.

We are hoping that the dead cells are the cause of this, but from the MRI it could be the progression of the tumor.  We do know we are doing 100% and Chance is doing 100%, we have it in God’s hands and he is in control.  Thank you for all of the support and we are fighting hard as ever, it has been hard, but in the end that will make the win even sweeter.  Pray hard for us and I will update as soon as I can, the bad thing is the hospital is pretty full and we will probably be in PICU for a day or two, pray for good news and pray for a room to come available, also pray that we will still have a plan and a goal after Chance gets this relief from the drain. 

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

          Today has been a struggle, this from the news yesterday plus what kind of night and day Chance has had.  Chance has been complaining of his head, back, butt, legs, just about his entire body.   He was sick several times today; this is a problem that we are trying to fix.  Dr. G. wanted me to come over to see the scans today, so I was there at 8:00 this morning, after calling him he told me to come back about 11:30.  We have a plan, I looked at the scans and here is the deal.  The tumors have reacted to the treatment, they have decreased in size.  The problem is that the treatment didn’t get all of the cells and the cells started growing in his spinal fluid.  He has some “sugar coating” on the brain and spine.  I asked if we could start him back on the steroid to help with the pressure so we are trying that now, please pray for this to work.  If it doesn’t we will have to go in and put a shunt in and we would rather not do that.  Our next test is on Tuesday just to verify that the spinal fluid is positive.  If it is we will put a reservoir in his head, this is a small tube with a port that they will access with a needle and he will receive his chemo this way.  We will treat the spinal fluid and hopefully kill the cells, this procedure is experimental, but it is a plan and we are not at the end.  Dr. G. said that he wasn’t going to say it would work and he wasn’t going to say it wouldn’t work.  We have had two challenging days, but we have been here before and God has got us over the mountain.  There will be sunny days ahead, he has promised us that.  Just pray that the steroid will take the pressure away and that we can get to the next chemo round.  I am not sure when we will put the reservoir in, but we won’t start the chemo till somewhere around July 10^th.  They thought we had enough time to wait till then.  We are handling it the best we can, we have our good moments and then our weak ones.  I have the hardest time when I start thinking about the past in that have I seen him ride his last bike, or hit his last ball, or even go for a walk.  God has blessed us over the last 6 months and we are thankful, if it hadn’t been for the protocol we were on we would have not been able to enjoy those good memories that gets me upset.  Dr. G. gave us two options go home, or to try this experimental treatment.  He said he would respect either way, Chance has fought too hard to go home now, and we are ready for the next plan and this is what Dr. G wanted us to do.  Desirae and I are tired, worn out, and fatigued, but we have not been through anything like Chance.  He is an awesome son and a great role model for anyone, I just think God that I was lucky enough to be his dad.  Keep the prayers coming and just remember God is in the healing business and nothing will ever change that.  He is the same today, as he was 2,000 years ago.  Pray for the pressure to go down and we can enjoy the weekend.  Just remember we are not at the end of the road, we have a plan, and so we are thankful!

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S. I know I have told you before, but he loves mail, if you could take five minutes out of your day to send him a card, we would really appreciate it.  We have been receiving a lot of mail, but Destiny and him enjoy opening stuff everyday.   You don’t have to put anything in the card, but just having a card puts a smile on both of their faces.  Thank you for all of the support.  1102 White Pine Dr. Durham, NC 27705

P.S.S Guys sounds like you are doing well at the Tech Team Camp, wished Chance and I were there, we miss seeing you and yelling at you, love all of you!

          Well, we didn’t get the news that we wanted today.  I wished I could write big letters about scans being clear, but that is not the case.  Today we went in for our hearing test and it showed that Chance had lost some more of his hearing; this we didn’t think was that big of a deal, we kind of expected that.  After that we headed down to do the MRI.  We prayed very hard for good scans as well as all of you.  We took Chance in to use the bathroom before he started his MRI, and I told him we were going to pray again.  At this point he told me God was healing his boo boo and he would heal everyone else too.  The MRI took about 2 hours when he came out I paged the doctor so he could go look at the results.  We then took Chance to the other two test since he was kind of out of it, they went well and we got through them.  We decided to go back to the apartment and let him rest and decided what to do about going home.  After about an hour we put him in the car and headed to the house.  I decided to call the doctor at 5:00 if he hadn’t called me yet.  So we had to stop to get gas and Chance wasn’t feeling real well, so I called.  He said that the original tumors had decreased in size, but that there was a coating over his brain and spine and that one of the ventricles was swollen some.  This is where his headaches and not feeling well is coming from.  We didn’t want to hear this news, we still give GOD all of the praise, and our fight is not over yet.  The doctor said if it got to the point where Chance was having problems then our surgeon Dr. Grant would have to put a shunt in.  Right now he is resting well, tomorrow Dr. G. said I could come over and he would go over the scans with me.  Tuesday we will do a LP to confirm if this coating is progression of the cancer or not.  I pray for the results to be negative, but the signs are not pointing that way.  As soon as we got back to the apartment we gave him some Tylenol and started a supplement called Mannatech.  This has shown great results from others that have been sent home with no hope, we are not at that point yet, but we are getting a head start just in case Tuesday doesn’t work out.  If the LP is positive Dr. G. said he would try a chemo in the spine to kill the cells there.  We don’t know exactly what the road will lead us to from here, I do know God has leaded us to this point and he won’t stop now.  We are thankful for a beautiful family including a daughter, in-laws, close relatives, close friends, and everyone that checks on us daily which are part of our family now.  We have cried and we have laughed, many of both will happen over the next days, months, years.  This is no where near then end so don’t think  it is the fourth quarter with 5 seconds to go and we are down ten, we are just starting the fourth down a few and getting ready for the hardest fight so far.  Please pray for Chance, pray for us, and what is God’s will, and especially that he won’t suffer.  He is such a good fighter, and he loves GOD, what else would you want in a son.  I am just thankful that he led us where we needed to go so when one of us goes to Heaven it will just be a short time till we meet again, THANK YOU GOD FOR SALVATION.  Also, please keep Kassidy in your prayers as well, they are struggling a little right now too, but please don’t think your prayers have not been answered, pray harder, he is listening.  Hopefully better news tomorrow.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny 

           I just wanted to write before we head back to Durham.  We are heading back here in just a little while.  It is about 7:00 p.m., so it will be time for bath and then hit the road, I like traveling better at night.  Today has been a lot better, Chance only got sick one time and that I still think is his one time TPN sickness.  He didn’t complain any about his head today, Praise God.  His legs are bothering him some, but I am not sure if that is from muscle weakness, chemo, or fatigue.  I just praise God for having a better day.  Tomorrow we have three tests, 8:00 we have a hearing test, we are praying that there is no more hearing loss and everything is OK with that, then we have a MRI at 10:00, we need a lot of prayers for that, this has been a very stressful week and this is a big test to see where we sit.  The third is a heart test.  At times we are very comfortable then the next minute we are very worried.  The highlight of the day was when our preacher, Mike Varner came over to visit and to pray for positive results.  Mike asked Chance if he could pray and Chance said no, because it wasn’t time to eat.  Well hopefully we will be back home tomorrow night.  The Boys’ Basketball team goes to Virginia Tech for basketball team camp tomorrow through Saturday.  My hope is good news from the MRI and get back tomorrow for the team camp and to be with my team; a lot of them I have not seen in few months.  Well just got done giving Chance a bath and Desirae’s mom and my mom are giving Destiny one now.  Please pray hard tonight and in the morning for good news from the MRI, we are going to Praise God either way, but we know how much more of a motivational and spiritual story Chance could tell if he was here in person.  Thank everyone for the help to get us to this point.  God is great and we give him all of the credit for healing Chance.  Once again Thank You and We Love You!  Till tomorrow with Good News.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.  I will update as soon as I get the information!

           Today has been a big faith test.  Chance woke up this morning about 5:00 and got sick, this is usual his one time TPN sickness.  When he woke up he complained about his head some.  This is where we don’t know exactly what to expect.  It is hard for a 4 year old to tell you exactly what is going on, so we don’t know if his head is really hurting or what the deal is.  Destiny had her two year old appointment today so we had planned on going to Roanoke and then on to Chuckie Cheese.  When we got ready to leave Chance gagged on his medicine, an in turn, caused him to get sick.  On the way down to Roanoke he got sick one more time, then twice tonight.  It has been a very challenging day, but after calling the doctors and asking them, they still think it is from the chemo and not from his tumor.  I asked if they had seen a tumor grow during chemo before and they said it wasn’t likely, so that was good news.  I just ask you to pray for us over the next few days especially Thursday, our patience is being pushed, but we are still getting strength from God and he is carrying us through this.  We feel very wore down right now, we just hope for good news on Thursday.  Just pray that Chance sickness will get less and he will feel better tomorrow.  Thank you for all of the support that you give us everyday, we see it and feel it in everything that you do.  I know we can’t thank each one of you individually, but know that every thing from a prayer to a card that we really hold close to our heart and can feel the love.  Thank you again and please keep the prayers coming.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S. Destiny’s check up was good, height was 85%, weight was 35%, and Chance was upset because she didn’t get a shot, now that is a big brother for you. 

P.S.S. After opening my emails and seeing the daily one from Joel Osteen come up, I prayed before I opened it that even though I get my strength from you God, show me again that this is going to be OK.  I opened the email and this is what it said.

          Today went well; Chance’s counts were really good.   We got down to the clinic about 10:30 and left about 1:30 to come home, they were really busy.   No platelets or blood and his ANC was around 6,000, which is really good.   We are one more day closer to the MRI.   I will just tell you I have been struggling over a few things the last few days.   One reason is because Chance just hasn’t been as active as he has in the past.   It is still hard for me to remember that he is in the middle of intense chemo, I just expect him to keep hitting like he had everything else, but I think it is starting to catch up with him.   He is also starting to have more of an issue with muscle weakness, this is something that will come back but anything that we can keep along the way will be good.   He also has had something they call tremors, these are kind of like muscle spasms.   The doctors came in and evaluated him and they don’t think it is from the tumor, they believe it is from the muscles, vitamins, or chemo.   This has really been worrying me and today the nurses could tell it was a concern.   This week in general is a worrying week because of the MRI and all of the other tests.   My patience has been short and the sleep during the night has been short too, but we keep praying for good news this week.   Sometimes I think it is harder at home than down at the apartment.  Don’t get me wrong we love being at home, but there is so much going on that we would love to be a part of.   We know that it is going to be OK and we are praying hard just like you guys are.   We did get good results from two of our friends with ATRT, Owen was clear and Claire was clear, this is great news, I just hope I can type the same thing Thursday and then every other update that I ever write on this web page.   Let me tell you how God is carrying me right now and how great he is.   I have told you that we receive daily devotions from Joel Osteen and if you haven’t signed up for them you need to.   www.joelosteen.com .   Here is today’s, tell me God isn’t great and that he isn’t in control, thank God for letting me sit back and relax and realize he is in control and not to worry.   I just keep praying for God to give me the strength to quit trying to answer all of the questions and trust in him.   I wished I could hear him laugh every time I tell him my plans.  

Relax and Let God Work

Today's Scripture

“Cease striving, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 (NAS).

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Psalm 46:10 is a great Scripture to pray daily. Turn to it and read it before you make any decision. You'll be amazed at the insight you get from waiting on God instead of striving to find the answers on your own. Don't always react on your first impulse - instead, think about what God would want from you and realize that He is in control. You'll be able to see His hand working in just about any situation when you take a step back and realize it's not your plan, but His. When you're absolutely confused, worried and don't have a clue what to do, relax for a minute and let God work. Don't let panic or worry guide your decisions when God is ready to help you.

A Prayer for Today

God, thank You for remaining in control even when I'm worried or stressed. Give me Your supernatural wisdom to make decisions that honor You and are for my good. In Jesus' Name. Amen .

        It has been a great weekend at home.  Tomorrow we head back to Durham hopefully for just blood counts and then head back home.  I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't have to get platelets, but it won't be that big of a deal.  We hope to get back home later that afternoon.  We didn't get to go to church today because we wanted to make sure Chance's counts were up before we took that chance.  It was a great Father's Day, I hope everyone out there took the time to tell their dad's that they loved them, or remembered them if they have gone on.  Well it is a busy week, we ask for alot of prayers over this week and into next week.  Thursday is another measuring  day to see where we sit.  We have the MRI at 10:00 on Thursday.  Two other ATRT kids have MRI scans tomorrow, Owen and Claire, also remember Cody's family over this week as they have their memorial.  Chance had a super day, some fatigue,  but did get out to play some.  All in all it has been a blessed weekend, give God all of the Praise.

       Love,

       Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

               Wow what a day! Today started real well and finished the same.  I headed to work this morning after Chance got up and was ready for the day.  He did get sick one time last night, but by this morning he was doing OK.   After getting to work I called back home to see what the kids, Desirae, and her parents were going to do today.  They had decided to go to Wal-Mart, it was a tough decision because we wanted to take him up to the concert, but we were afraid of the number of people and also him being overwhelmed.  About noon, I headed up to the concert to see a few people and thank them for what they had done.  We got there a little bit early so my mom and I stopped by Coach and Gayle Cantrell’s house to talk to them.  It was good to talk with them; it had been awhile since we had seen them.  After spending time with them we headed back up to the high school.  Man it was something, it was so great to see everyone.  We got a chance to spend some time with the Foster's and the honor of finally meeting Kassidy was one of the high lights of my day.  We met so many people that I wanted to thank and it was very nice to put faces with people’s names.  I saw a lot of the people that rode in the bike ride, it was just awesome, and I wished we could have stayed longer.  I also got a chance to speak to Dale Marshall; he was there with his son Austin.  I also got a chance to talk to Pam Collins sister, Starlet; Pam is fighting cancer as well.  It was just a great day.  Another person I ran into was J.P. Griffith, his son plays basketball for Giles and he had a part of where a lot of this fun raising began back during basketball season, I hadn’t seen him for several months.  It was really good to see him; it was really good to see everyone.  There were times it was just hard to believe that all of this was done to benefit all of these kids and medical charities when it really made me remember how thankful I was to live in such a great part of the country with so many loving people around us.  Then I got a opportunity to meet Kevin Sharp, he was awesome, he had wrecked his motorcycle just 24 hours before the concert and he told me he was just lucky to be alive.  I am just thankful that I had the honor of meeting such a good person.  He sat down and talked to me for about 10 minutes.  We listened to him sing for a little while then I had to get home to Chance.  Tonight we planned on going out to eat for our anniversary; it is tomorrow, plus for Father’s Day.  We went to Christiansburg with Pat and Bradley, we had a great time, and this was the first time that we have been out with out Chance in about 3 months.  We were a little worried about him, but he did great with the grandparents.  We ran into several people out, it was just a great time to get out and talk normal talk.  I know several times on the way over I was like what can we talk about, because we haven’t been out in the world in so long, that the only thing going on in our life was Chance, but we found a lot to talk about and had a great night with them.  It included a stop at Cold Stone, guess who picked that out, and then we went to Barnes and Noble.  I ran into one of my old teachers from high school at Barnes and Noble, Mrs. Lawson, she taught Spanish in high school, we used to argue all the time about Duke and Carolina, it was good to see her.  Well the rest of the night has been great, Chance is in bed and we are getting ready to head that way.  Thank you to everyone for all that you did today, the people I got to talk to, the new people that I met, and everyone in between, Thank You for making it a great day!  God has blessed us again and I don’t expect any less tomorrow.  HAPPY FATHER”S DAY!  I thank God that I have a great dad, a great father-in-law, and two great kids that I hope one day thank as much of me as what I thank of my dad.  He has done so much for me; I just hope that one day my kids might be able to say the same thing. 

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.      7 years ago I started a life with my great wife and now God has given us an opportunity to have two beautiful kids and with this opportunity he has given us a chance to grow closer to him.  I praise him for each blessing he has given me over this time, and the challenges he gives me each day so that we grow closer as a family and closer to him.

        Chance had a super day today. He played some and rested some.  I went to work and spent most of the time catching up with the guys at the store.  Tomorrow we have several pre-plans.  Maybe going to the Kevin Sharp concert.  We would love to hear him and talk to him, but I don't know if Chance would be able to stay and plus his counts are still not at the highest.  Another option is going out to eat, Desirae and I have not been out to eat together in probably 3 months, so if that happens we will have to make sure Chance is OK staying with her mom and dad.  They came up tonight to spend the weekend with us.  Maybe my mom and dad and hers can keep them under control for a few hours.  The other thing is just hang around here.  We are still not sure what we will do, but we want to Thank everyone that got this great concert and motivation speaker in Kevin Sharp to come to Floyd.  We would love to meet him, but we will just have to wait and see how the day unfolds.  Today has been another sad day, two kids we have been keeping up with (one ATRT) passed away yesterday.  We just keep all of these families in our prayers and we just keep taking one day at a time.  Thank everyone for what you have done, and just keep these tests next week in your prayers. 

       Love,

       Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

            This has been an awesome day.  We went to the clinic today to see where Chance’s counts were.  I told Desirae yesterday that next Monday I was going to start bargaining with the Docs to see if they would let us go home.  Well, he needed platelets today, but his white count was going up fast, so I though why not start negotiating today?  Guess what we are sitting at home!  Praise God and thanks goes to everyone who has been praying.  We are scheduled to go back on Monday and look at his platelets again and then should be able to come back home till next Thursday.  Chance was so excited about getting home and Destiny was about to jump out of her car seat at the bottom of the driveway.  As soon as we got home, Chance ran inside and hopped on his Tonka Truck and took off riding.  It felt so good to walk into our house and to sleep in our bed tonight.  We did have a visitor today, Roger Hollandsworth made his way down, he called me about 11:00am and I told him I had good news and bad news.  The bad news and the good news were the same we were going home.  So he gave me a taxi ride all the way back home, it was good to ride and talk to him.  It has been a long time since I have had a conversation of things different than chemo and hospital for a while.  After getting home I ran up to open gym to see the guys, it was so good to see them and Big Tim Slaughter and Howard Conduff.  We had some good talks too, and kidding around with the guys was a lot of fun.  When I was leaving Timmy said I had some mail in the mailbox at school from University of North Carolina, so I ran down there to get it.  It was a signed photo from Roy Williams telling Chance to stay strong.  That meant a lot to me and I know it will to him in the future.  These people don’t know how much it means when they take a little time out to do something like that.  Well tomorrow looks like a work day for me if I can remember to get up and go, but that won’t be a problem.  I am not sure what the kids will do, once again I ask you to keep Cody Myers family in your prayers.  I would also like for you to keep Chance’s test next week in your prayers, God is answering them everyday.  Last round we got home for 3 days, this round it will almost be two weeks, and the doctors said it would get harder for his counts to rebound.  PRAISE GOD FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS!

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

          Yesterday was a good, but sad day.  We had a lot of fun, still no fevers.  Chance played most of the day and took one nap.  He still gets frustrated about things every now and then, but all of that will come back soon.  My Dad came down and spent the day with us.  While Chance was taking a nap, I took him over to the Dean Smith Center at Carolina to see a real gym.  Today is clinic day so hopefully everything will look OK.  I expect for him to get platelets and maybe blood, but we will just have to wait and see.  I think Roger Hollandsworth and his wife Jennifer are coming down to see us today.  It will be good to spend some time with them.  Well the sad news is today we lost another ATRT friend.  Cody Myers went on to be with the Lord, he is not suffering anymore.  Like before if you get a chance please go to their website and send them  a message, it is www.carepages.com  with CodyMyers1 as the name, but if you don’t have time to do that, take a few minute to say a prayer for his family to keep pushing on until the day that they meat again.  Sorry for the update being late, I laid down with Chance and didn’t get up till this morning.  Thanks for the mail and all of the prayers.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

            What a wonderful day.  Chance has been more like himself today.  He woke up in a real good mood and didn’t get sick.  After being up a little while he wanted to go outside and play ball.  Destiny has gotten him pretty motivated to do things also.  Today we did anything from playing with bubbles, hitting ball, riding in the stroller, doing a craft, throwing ball, and just hanging out and doing sticker books.  It is amazing how well he is doing.  Still no fevers, so we give God all of the Glory in keeping the fevers away.  My dad went to recognition at Salem today given by Chance Crawford.  They gave us a donation from the softball tournament that went on recently.  I want to Thank everyone that got us connected with them and everyone there that made the decision to let us be one of the receipients of the donation.  Dad really enjoyed going and talking to other families that were in our situation.   Tomorrow I think my dad is going to come down and spend the day with us.  Just pray that Chance keeps the mood that he has been in, this just makes things so much better.  I ask you to keep Cody Myers in your prayers, his time is getting short, but he won’t be suffering much longer.  Once again you can drop him and his family a note at www.carepages.com   CodyMyers in the patients name.  They would really appreciate it at this point in their journey.  Please keep Chance test that are coming up in the next couple of weeks and that he can keep fighting this monster.  We have another friend Owen that has scans on Monday so keep him in your prayers too.  I think Keith Bowman had surgery on his neck today, please lift him up in prayer.  Thank you for all that you are doing and Chance still loves the cards and sticker books he keeps receiving.  Have a blessed day and know we love each and everyone of you and can’t wait to get home to tell you in person.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

          Today was clinic day.  Chance woke up pretty early and didn’t get sick, he saved that for tonight.  He was taking his medicine and started to gag, once that happens it is all over he is going to get sick.  Clinic visit went well, everything looked good.  As we expected we needed blood and platelets, so we got both transfusions.  The platelets go pretty fast, but the blood is pretty slow.  We got there this morning about 9:30 and got back to the apartment about 5:30, so it was an all day thing.   The good thing so far is that we still haven’t got the fever yet.  The last time we got blood we got one, but so far that hasn’t happened.  Chance didn’t eat much today, but he did play some and tonight he wanted to go riding.  We pushed the kids around in the stroller for about an hour, it was real nice down here tonight.  A couple of times today Chance asked when we were going to get to go home.  It is hard to here him say this, but we keep in mind that we are one more day closer.  MRI is 10 days away, so we are starting to pray hard for that.  Chance seems to improve each day, but when he does something that doesn’t seem exactly right or not like him we start thinking different things.  If everything goes normal and no fevers we will have clinic day Thursday, so pray for no fevers and Chance keep improving.  Also, pray for Chance to gain some weight, he was down from last week just a little, but that is normal, we would just like to see him improve his weight.  He is still motivated, but we can just see he is missing being at home.  Well let’s hit the bed, never know when that fever will hit.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

            P.S. Please keep Cody Myers and Family in your prayers through this tough time.

          Today has been another good day, with a few struggles.  We didn’t have a fever, which was good, but what we are struggling with is Chance wakes up in a good mood, but when he doesn’t get his way he starts fussing.  We don’t know whether he is hurting or just using it to try to get his way.  This has been very frustrating, but we keep trying to figure him out.  He went outside several times today and played with Desirae’s mom and dad which came down this morning.  They did a craft outside today and we played some ball.  While he was sleeping I headed over to UNC to check out an Elite Women’s Basketball Camp.  This was some good time away.  Tomorrow is clinic day to see where his counts sit, I am sure they are still zero.  I expect to get more platelets and maybe some blood, but we would like to wait till Thursday for the blood because that is what gave us the fever last time.  It isn’t too early to start praying for the next MRI, it is a week from Thursday.  We lost one of our friends today Rayley Kourek, she just had turned one.  Also I read Cody Myers page a little while ago and he isn’t doing well at all.  I know that several of you sent her a message, but if you get a chance send them several.  It is www.carepages.com; with the page Cody Myers.  Take care and thanks for all of the prayers.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

           Today was better than yesterday.  It started a little rough, Chance got sick twice this morning before he got up, but after he got up he seemed fine.  We keep hoping and praying that it is the TPN.  Other than that it was a great day.  Chance ate well today, went outside, ran some, and rode his bike some.  It was just a super day!   We praise God for Chance improving and having these types of days.  We keep praying for the fevers to stay away.  Tomorrow I think Desirae’s mom and dad are coming down, so Chance and Destiny should have a lot of fun with them.  Tomorrow night I think they start bible school at our church, hope everyone has a great time and we will be thinking about you guys.  We are just very blessed to see the kids fighting and playing together, we love it.  Till tomorrow, keep us in your prayers and thanks for the support.

            Love,             

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.      Clay and family have fun at Disney World!

           Today has been a great day.  Chance woke up this morning in a pretty good mood, and then got sick.  We are getting used to the one time sick a day, usually in the morning.  We keep hoping this is coming from the TPN.  We went out and drew some on the sidewalk with chalk and then we played some outside, but it was so hot.  It was close to 1:00, and the weather channel said that it was 98 here and 83 at Floyd; all I know is that it was really hot.  Since it was so hot we went riding around some today as well.  Chance also played inside, board games, working on his letters, and anything else that we could come up with.  Destiny has been a blast; she loves outside no matter how hot.  I took her outside tonight for about an hour.  She was just playing and sweating, while we were outside we ran into one of our nurses from 5100 who was here for a cook out.  Those nurse there are so nice, like I said before, they have made this journey a lot smoother.  Chance ate fair today, but anything we will take.  Tomorrow hopefully will be another day without a fever, we keep praying; everyday is one day closer.  Well I am going to relax and watch some TV with Desirae, keep us in your prayers and keep praying for the fevers to stay away and the up coming MRI to be positive.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S. Congratulations to Grayson County Baseball team in reaching the state championship, hopefully tomorrow you guys will win that thing, GOOD LUCK!

          Today was Chance’s best day in awhile.  It didn’t start that way, but finished that way.  Chance slept fair and then woke about 7:00 and got sick.  After getting ready we headed over to the clinic for counts.  As we expected his platelets were 14, so we needed a transfusion.  Not that big of a deal we have had them before, his blood count was ok, so we didn’t need any blood which was good.  While we were there we ran into Dr. G. and he told us that we were going to drop the drug that put Chance into the PICU.  We had prayed to God that he would show us the right direction to go in making the decision about what to do.  Desirae had even mentioned to me about writing the Doctor at St. Judes to see what he thought.  Well when we talked to Dr. G. he had already wrote and spoke with the Dr. at St. Judes, so this made us feel comfortable in the situation that they had decided.  We are going to just pray and ask you to as well.  Pray that the hearing will not be a problem.  We know he has lost high frequency and we have another hearing test here in a couple of weeks, so we will know more.  We know God is stronger than any medicine, it is all in God’s hands, and he is in total control.  He will control Chance’s hearing and to what level he loses or regains.

            After getting back to the apartment Chance woke up from a nap and wanted to eat.  We don’t know what he dreamed about, but that was good news, then he wanted to go outside and play baseball, he hit for awhile and then we walked over and got the mail.  He was his old self today, very motivated.  Destiny was the one fussing at Chance today about what Chance was doing to her instead of the other way around.  It has just been so much better being able to keep our family together.  Well, I ask you to keep praying about the counts, fevers, the drug that we dropped, and the test that are coming up in future weeks.  We did get to see some of our friends at the clinic today that we hadn’t seen in awhile.  It is always good to see their kids improving and getting better.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.      I would like to thank Bobbi Jean Martin and Wal-Mart for Chance’s uniform, hat, and name badge.  He is a true Wal-Mart person now, he can put it on and you would never know he doesn’t work there.  Also thank you for the cards, he loves them so much, you just don’t understand how much they mean to him.

          Today has been pretty normal.   Chance didn’t sleep real good last night.  He started his TPN back again, so I think that may have been some of it.  He got sick three times today.  My dad came down today to spend some time with us today.  Chance went outside a couple of times today, but most of the day he just laid around and rested.  It is hard to get him motivated to go outside when it is between upper 80’s to close to 100.  Tomorrow is lab day to see where his counts are at.  I am sure his count is at zero, we just keep praying that the fever will stay away.  We had a lot of fun playing with Destiny today, she is so much fun.  I will be glad when Chance is back to full strength and they are fighting all of the time.  Well other than that it was a normal day; keep praying that the fevers will stay away, the MRI and LP are positive, and that we can make a decision on what to do with the medicine that put us in the PICU last time.  Chance still enjoying all of the mail, which is one of his highlights of the day, THANK YOU!

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

           We are at the apartment and doing well.  We didn’t get here till about 2:00, because Dr. G. was in Chicago last night and got back this morning about 5:00 A.M..  We were waiting for him to come see Chance and let us go, but then later on they decided they didn’t need to see him and just let us go.  No fevers yet, blood counts are almost zero, so this is good.  The quicker they get to zero the quicker they go back up.  Again he did have some bugs in his stem-cells so hopefully this will be like last time and not bother him.  He has been in a pretty good mood just a little bit tired.  He only took two naps today.  He has been more like himself today so everyday has been an improvement.  Right now our next visit to the clinic is scheduled for Thursday for blood draws, so praying for no fevers.  We know we are going to have to get platelets on Thursday because we almost needed them today.  Our schedule is to have a MRI, LP, and some more tests before we start back.  This is good, because we will know where we sit.  One of the doctors told us yesterday that they expected to see improvement, but would be surprised if it was only stable.  Our next admission day will be June 27^th; this is a Wed. so if our counts are up maybe we can get home for a couple of days.  They had talked about setting us back a week, but it would end up being two weeks and they didn’t want to do that.  Well I think my dad is coming down tomorrow to see us, other than that it will hopefully be a no fever fun day.  The apartment is very nice; it is really nice to be away from the hospital.  We are enjoying our time out right now.  I think we have somewhere around 73 days left, pushing on. 

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

            Today was a great day.   Chance woke up in a great mood and then we received stem-cells.   Thank God everything went smoothly.   We watched the race while he was getting his stem-cells, well I watched while he slept.   I hated to see Stewart go out, but he couldn’t have gone out any better; by taking out Busch.   Chance made it out of the room two times today, but he doesn’t like to stay out long.   We think when we get out of here and back to the apartment he will get more motivated.   Still no fever, we are praying that last for several weeks.   One of the head nurses today said to be ready to come back then end of the week, so to enjoy the two or three days off.   After she said that I went and prayed hard for God to prove them wrong.   I believe that the only reason why we would come back in would because Chance needs something we can’t control.   Last time it was because we needed the TPN, which we are ready to start because he is down in weight.   We are hoping to be back to the apartment by afternoon tomorrow.   Today we socialized with several of the nurses here; we love to talk to them.   It just seems like we have known each other for so long and that we are really close friends, that is what makes it a better journey.  

            I spoke with a couple of players and Coach Slaughter today about the camp.   Man sounds like another great turnout; somewhere around 110-125, that is really good.   After speaking with Coach Slaughter tonight, he sounded like he was pretty tired, I am sure he worked the guys hard and I know they had fun.   I want to thank everyone that came out to help this week, he and I really appreciate the support.   It makes things go a lot better, the only thing is that you will be drafted again for next year, just kidding, but I really do appreciate everyone’s help.   When we were first diagnosed I didn’t know if the camp would even happen, but it is going on and as good as ever.   I would give anything to be there, I miss all of you guys from the helpers, parents, players (young and old), and seeing everyone have a great time.   Once again enjoy the week, and hopefully I will be updating from the apartment tomorrow.   I have already jinx ourselves, because the only thing left in the room is Chance, Desirae, and me.   Just think when that last chemo is happening, we probably won’t even pack clothes; we will just where the same ones all week so we will be ready to go.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

P.S.       Please keep Cody Myers and his family in your prayers, they are still pushing on.   Also keep the kids here and everywhere else in a prayer that the kids and their families will stay strong through their journey.   We are just thankful for the problem we have, because there are so many out there worse than we are.  

P.S.S.   Joel Osteen Today, wonder if God is still sending signs. You Decide for Yourself, We Know!

Fight the Good Fight

Today's Scripture

“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our inner strength in the Lord is growing every day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Paul explained to the church at Corinth that giving up is not an option for a true Christian. As a follower of God, you are to fight the good fight in God’s strength and never surrender or give up. Being faithful means holding tight through tough and seemingly impossible times. Keep pushing whether you feel like it or not; keep going even when you run out of strength. Do the right thing, even when the wrong thing happens to you. In order to win the battle, you have to step out and take part in the struggle. Only after fighting the good fight can you experience the good victory that God has in store for you! A Prayer for Today God, thank You for giving me the strength to fight the good fight. Help me to keep my eyes on You for the endurance to keep moving forward. In Jesus’ Name. Amen

          We have had a better day.  Chance was up more today and in a little better mood.  We had a few visitors, which overwhelmed him some.  If it is one on one he usually is ok, but the more people around the more he shuts down.  Today we had some of Desirae’s family come down.  It was her mom, her aunt, sister Sherrie, and her friend Lewis, Zack, and Aunt Carolyn’s grand-daughter.  It was good to see them.  We are another day with out a fever so we are very thankful today.  We just keep praying that it will last the rest of the month.  We started this morning by catching Joel Osteen on TV and it was great, he is such a motivational speaker.  Tomorrow we get the stem-cells back; we just pray that everything goes smooth with that and that the fevers will stay away.  Hopefully home on Tuesday is the plan. 

            Tomorrow we are having our little kid’s basketball camp at Floyd, I hope and pray that Coach Slaughter and everyone helping out have a great time and the kids enjoy and improve.  I really stress that time of the year, but that will not happen in the future.  I look forward to next year and being able to spend the time with future players.  I want to Thank everyone for helping this year and continuing the tradition of Floyd County Boys Basketball.  Like I have said before I can’t wait till next year being back on the bench coaching, seeing these little players in the stands yelling for us, and looking across and seeing my family there cheering us on.  It is going to be so great.  Well everyone enjoy the camp, I know Coach Slaughter has put a lot of time and worried a lot about it, but it is going to be a huge success. 

            Well pray for a good night and a great day tomorrow.  Thank everyone for what you have done; we are one more day closer.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny 

           Another day down.  I can’t say this was a good day, but it wasn’t a bad day.  Chance slept most of the day, he got up a couple of times, but wasn’t in a very good mood.  Hopefully that is from the chemo.  We had some great visitors today.  My Grandma Margaret, Uncle Mike, and Mrs. Hershey.  It was good to spend time talking to and being with all three of them.  Mrs. Hershey brought Chance and us a gift that we really appreciated.  Dr. G. came by and was real positive about the way Chance looked.  He was able to get unhooked from the IV pole for a little while, but by the time we adventured out somewhere he didn’t feel like doing anything.  He didn’t eat or drink a lot today, so we are ready to get him back on the TPN.  We hope and pray tomorrow for a better day and hopefully get to go down to the clinic to play some.  It is really nice on the weekend because no one is there.  We had super nurses again today, I know everyone talks about St. Jude and how nice it is, it may be nice, but there is no way that the nurses are better.  We have had an excellent experience on this floor for the situation that we are in.  We are still praying for no fevers, one more day down; just get us to Tuesday well for that matter lets just say for the next 3 weeks.  Tomorrow is a normal day of rest, like I said before hopefully Chance will be in a good mood.  Keep us in your prayers, God is healing Chance everyday and he is going to be a witness for God.  Thank everyone for the cards and gifts right now while we are in they are coming in handy to keep his spirits up.  Pray for Monday to go smooth and that we can keep pushing forward.  Well better get my bed folded out and ready to lie down, miss being at home and seeing everyone, take care.

            Love,

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

            Well this has been a great day.   Thank God for answered prayers.   Chance woke up in a good mood.   Nana, Destiny, my Uncle George, and Aunt Susan came over to be with us.   They brought by some video games today and Chance played some then he did sticker books, and played games.   It is so much nicer here on the floor even though we are going to be here through Tuesday.   Chemo went well today, with no sickness.   Chance also did something today that he hasn’t done in about a month and that was eat.   He ate so well, the more we fed him the more he wanted.   It was great to see him more like himself.   He took a nap about 5:00 and I told him I would wake him up about 7:00 to play with Destiny, well that nap is still going on and it is 10:30.   I bet he will wake up about 3:00 A.M. and want to play, but if he is a good mood we can deal with it.   Dr. G came by today and told us that if Chance got a fever between now and Tuesday when we get out we would be here the whole month, so now we are praying hard for no fever.   We are scheduled for stem-cells on Monday, because they don’t do that over the weekend.   We will try to adventure out to the clinic tomorrow and play with the trains some.   Once again I want to mention the nurses here on 5100 are just great, all of them speak and talk to us.   It is like we have friends that are taking care of us, which it is.    Well I better go to bed here in a little while or go to the café.   The cafe stays open till 3:00 in the morning pretty nice for a late night snack.   Thank you for all of the prayers and support, make sure you enjoy everyday and Thank God for everything he does for you.   We thank God for another Great Day with Chance and also with Destiny being able to be with us.   We had fun today.

            Love,                           

            Brian, Desirae, Chance, and Destiny

Well, last night and today was another struggle.  We are seeing a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel though.  Chance was still very frustrated, moody, and just overall uncomfortable.  I have never in my life faced such hard times.  I have heard of people faced with such stress and heartache but I have never felt it; only imagined it.  Until you actually go through it you couldn’t imagine it.  Most of the morning Chance has screamed and fought, but rest assure brighter days are ahead.  Brian and I prayed all day and night for God to show us just a glimpse of light.  We know brighter days were ahead but it gets really tough when you face your child screaming to help them and you can’t do anything about it.  We have faced that for almost a week now.  I know God is sustaining us because physically and emotionally we are give out.  I can’t even begin to imagine how Chance feels right now.  He has endured so much physically and emotionally also; a whole lot more than us.  He is such a strong little boy.  We all have not had any sleep for about a week.  Chance’s mood goes through the night as same as it does during the day.       God has given us a sign though.  Today a nurse named Charlotte was sent to us by God.  She is great. I know God sent her to us to deliver us from this hardship and to encourage us.  She only works three days a week and she is from Danville VA.  Small world, huh?  She is our ray of sunlight.  She has a child that has asthma; her child also has been on high doses of steroid for his condition.  She knows exactly what is going on.  She came in this morning and told us rest assure we will see sun light.  Just when you tell God you don’t know if you can stand anymore he sends someone to help carry us.  God may have sent her to relieve his duties because I know he has literally carried us for several days.  She is a special woman.  She told us some children, like her own can’t withstand the drop in steroid that fast, their body reacts to it and goes hay wire.  She texted the neurosurgeon and told him (several times) he better do something with Chance.  The doctor’s only do their rounds once a day and it never fails, they only show up when the two minutes Chance is kind of calm and of course they never stay long.  You can only imagine how fast they run when they see a wild man in the bed screaming and jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean.  Sorry, I am so tired I have to make laugher of it or cry one.  We know this is only another hurdle to jump over but as we are trying to overcome this struggle God is using it for our good and helping us to become stronger.  I told Brian if God only puts on us as much as we can handle then he thinks we are pretty strong.  He must see more in us then we do.  Anyway, Mrs. Charlotte and the doctor have a long background.  They were joking about how persistent and aggressive she is.  We know God is using this quality in her to help other people out.  She actually aggravated the doctors enough to start decreasing the steroid to give Chance some relief, along with us.  Thank you God for the qualities you gave Mrs. Charlotte, she is our ray of sun light.

Up till this point the other nurses, as did we, thought Chance was just in pain.  Mrs. Charlotte opened our eyes.  He may be in some pain but the big problem is the mood swings from the steroid.  Everyone else just keeps giving him morphine to ease pain.  We need to get him off the steroid.  The doctor was going to release us to the apartment today.  We told him no thanks.  I know, we never thought we would ever say that; usually we are running out the hospital.  I will tell you one thing though don’t send me home with Chance like this, especially if we don’t have any drugs to help him out.  Mrs. Charlotte gave Chance some bendryll to sedate him and hopefully make him rest.  His body is so tense; he can’t even release his urine output.  It’s like his body is having a continuous seizure but its not, thank God; just a withdraw from the steroid. 

God continues to use Chance to save more souls; by being on the 5300 floor of surgery we have met other nurses and become friends with them.  The other night we told them of our journey and brought tears to there eyes.  Hopefully another soul saved.  God’s ending plan may not be our plan but at least Chance is glorifying God and saving souls along the way.  We are honored for that.  We are doing a 110% here on Earth to heal Chance.  We have no regrets!  We have given it all to God.  We continue to praise him because without him we would have not gotten this far.  We are pushing to the experimental protocol.  Brian and I reassure each other, because if this procedure works then we have Chance and hopefully this experiment will help other children battling cancer.  How great would that be if only a vaccine would cure cancer.  So much pain and suffering would be taken from future cancer patients.  At one time our first protocol was only an experiment, but without other people volunteering to try it and it proving to be successful, we would not have gotten these 6 months with Chance.  If Chance is not healed here on Earth then we know it is God’s plan and it is what is best for Chance.  Its not that we gave up on him.  I understand now how some parents can just call it quits when it comes to cancer, at first I couldn’t understand why parents would do that to their child.  You truly don’t understand until you have been in there shoes.  Some parents don’t even get an opportunity to walk away, God just takes them from this horrible disease, and some parents do have an option.  It is much easier to just give up and walk away at this point but that’s what Satan wants; to physically and emotionally exhaust us to give up.  Chance is still in good physical health (besides the cancer), sure he may have some disabilities but don’t we all.  He can still function as a normal human being.  If he couldn’t function on his own then we may have chosen another path but we also prayed to God if he was in that state then he would be better off with God.  We are pushing on, God may deliver Chance from this disease and he may not but it won’t be because we gave in to Satan.  Jesus was tired too carrying the cross but he never gave up.  He continued to do God’s work even though he knew what was to come of him. 

Brian and I laugh because here at Duke we know everyone and they have become our family.  We can’t walk down the hall without seeing at least one person we know.  It has become our home for 6 months.  Maybe God felt we touched all we could at Norfolk, and then he sent us to Duke and touched so many, we now need to go to NY to further touch people.  Who knows, maybe we can go up all the east coast to tell our story.  What ever God wants is what we want.

The night before our surgery (shunt and emmya reservoir) I prayed for God to take Chance if it was his will.  I don’t want to see him suffer.  I know this sounds horrible coming from his own mother but I love him that much.  You get to carry your child back into the surgical room to be put to sleep.  I gowned up to be sterile like all the other doctors and once again I took him in the room to lay him on the table.  I felt like I was laying him on the altar.  I told God here he is, do with him what you will.  I told Chance mommie and daddie love you a whole, whole lot and you know that, right?  He said he knew.  When they had put him to sleep, I layed him on the table and kissed him, tears came to my eyes, for I knew what I had prayed.  I told God if his work was done with Chance and he was to suffer then take him.  The surgical hour seemed so long.  When Chance came out I was so relieved.  I know God is not finished with Chance he has further people to touch with him.  So, our next plan is NY.  We have further work to do.  We are facing a hurdle now with the steroid but we will overcome this battle with God by our side.  Continue to pray for guidance, sustaining strength and for Chance to have some relief of this steroid.  We are being to see a glimpse of the brighter days ahead!!!!

Love,

            Desirae, Brian, Chance and Destiny

Well, as everyone knows we are struggling some today.  I won’t lie to you it has been hard.  Brian and I thought we faced hard times before but we had only seen a tip of the iceberg.  We may look back in the future and think these last few days were only the tip also.  I do know one thing; no matter what Chance will win this battle.  He will be healed whether here on Earth or in Heaven.  Chance is not a loser but a winner no matter what.  I praise God for that everyday.  Each day we are thankful for being one day closer for Chance’s healing.  I am so grateful for my family, friends, church, community, and my extended family through this web site.  Without your support, prayers and well wishes we could not have made it this far. 

We are not giving up; we are just facing harder times now.  I won’t give up until the last breath of air is out of my son’s body.  We owe that to Chance.  Chance is such a strong fighter and has come so far.  God has blessed us with 6 wonderful months and I wouldn’t take anything for them.  The odds are against us and we know that.  Since December 14, 2006 the odds were against us and many people and some health care providers didn’t think we would make it this far.  The only thing I have to say about that is they don’t know how mighty our God is.  We continue to trust in God and hold fast to him.  Only he knows what lies ahead.  I am so honored God choose our son as one of the few children to help save souls.  I am so proud and grateful Chance has touched so many people.  Brian and I would have never and probably will never touch as many people as Chance has touched, for that I am humbled.  When we are conceived in our mother’s womb God has a purpose for our life.  We are all put here on Earth to serve a purpose and to bring glory to God.  I know now God blessed Chance in my womb to save lives.  He has accomplished so much in only 4 years.  More than I have ever in my 30 years.  When we are conceived God knows our birth date and he knows the day he will call us back home.  No doctor can put a life expectancy on you, only God knows when your time is up.  I am so thankful he has total control, because what a mess we would make if we tried to control things. 

If God chooses to take Chance we will see him again.  I will continue to trust in God and earn my way to Heaven’s gate.  I do want to say one thing to everyone reading this; no matter what happens do not turn your back on God.  If you do turn away from Christ then Chance loses, I am asking you now please don’t.  No matter what, hold fast to God, he does what is best for all of us.  He knows the big picture we don’t.  He knows what lies ahead for Chance and God will do what is best for Chance no matter what.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.  I know how much I love Chance, but I also know God loves him even more.  I layed here tonight watching Chance sleep and praying over him.  Many times I told God if he needed another soul then take mine, let me endure these treatments. I am the sinner, not Chance, but being the age I am, I wouldn’t touch half as many people as Chance has touched.  I continue to remind myself and Brian that no matter how much it hurts us, if God takes Chance then that is what we want because God will do what is best for Chance.  It will hurt us till the day we die, but I love him that much to let him go.  He has brought us such joy and laughter.  His faith in God has been unbelievable, especially for a 4 year old.  Chance is God’s chosen one.  Please continue to pray for guidance and that the steroid will relieve the pressure on the brain.  Until next time…

Love,

Desirae, Brian, Chance, and Destiny