In my purse I carry an old receipt from Hallmark dated 12/21/2006 for a "PLUSH WINTER ROLY POLY" and "PLUSH SANTA SNOOPY." It is not uncommon for me to find useless, outdated receipts in my purse every once in awhile. This receipt is there for a reason: it is for the toys I bought for Chance and Destiny when I first saw them after Chance's diagnosis. This one I will keep on purpose as a reminder of a lesson that the year since that date has taught me:
I am too small to know what tomorrow will bring, but not too small to bring light to tomorrow.
Desiree Harman mentioned in the article that ran in the Roanoke Times that my mother and I ran into them at the mall that day. I remember exactly how I felt when I saw them: guilty that my own precious Joshua was safe and healthy at home with his dad. I would never have guessed at that moment that neither they nor we would spend this Christmas with our little boys.
There are many things that I never could have seen coming at that moment, and while most of those things are admittedly the painful memories that I will recall 2007 giving us, there are praises as well. Never could I have imagined, for example that we would be blessed with another perfect baby boy this Christmas. And it was certainly beyond my comprehension that my first perfect baby boy would hold the honor of spending Christmas with Jesus himself this year.
When I look at that Hallmark receipt, it brings on a wave of sadness as I reflect on what our family was like last year. It is tempting to then fear what unthinkables the coming year could hold. But then I think about what the Bible has to say about that matter-- that today has its own worries and we cannot worry about tomorrow.
What we can do (and plan to do) is plan for tomorrow-- not by attempting to control it, but simply by contributing to some good for it. This is why we look forward to 2008 and the work to be done that has been placed on our hearts to preserve the legacy of Joshua and all the blessings that Samefight has brought over the past year. Desiree Harman and I are excited about this year's Relay for Life; Travis and our families are lovingly planning events to benefit the scholarship fund we are starting in Joshua's name; and we hope to be able to contribute to other community projects as well. We generally feel that we have lots to do and contribute for the community that gave to and participated in Samefight.
My Hallmark receipt reminds me that we cannot be certain what the future will hold, but we know that there is a purpose for each of our existence here. He, Chance, and Kassidy found theirs undoubtedly by bringing light into so many lives. We will be satisfied to continue that spirit.