It is true that I have secretly considered myself lucky to have not carried my first two sons for the full 40 weeks... Joshua was a good boy for Mommy, coming at 37 weeks: just when it was considered safe for him, yet not overstaying his welcome in the womb. A.J. was a bit more daring, arriving at 36 weeks. He was kind enough to afford me a much smoother labor, but unfortunately had to spend a week in the NICU to make sure his little lungs were revved up enough to work on their own. We all agree that they work just fine now.
Baby Isaiah, who we are expecting anytime now (as we are entering the 37th week), seems to be a bit more indecisive than the first two. A couple of hours of contractions early Thursday morning led me to believe that he was ready to make an appearance too, but the pains stopped abruptly, and in fact, I have felt better than I did since before the incident happened.
It's almost as if he changed his mind and decided that he's quite comfortable where he is.
And where is he? I have shared with others before (and others have shared with me) that once you hold a newborn baby, it is clear that they have arrived straight from heaven. It is not an awkward bird that carries that bundle of joy, but a graceful angel sent by God-- the same means by which we witnessed our first heaven-sent bundle of joy taken back to the Creator from whence he came after only a few short years.
Travis and I still have-- will always have-- very painful moments. One of those moments occurred as we made our final preparations for the baby's arrival the other night. It hurts so badly to know that in this life we will never hold all three of our sons together. Yet, many times during my pregnancy, I have contemplated the following: are Joshua and Isaiah not in the same place for the time being? Like the many photos of our family that we will have to cut and paste in collages to make complete, isn't our family itself kind of like that? While we are here, anxiously awaiting Baby's arrival, Joshua might be holding him up in heaven, asking God, "Can't I keep him just a little bit longer?"
And Isaiah, so content in his biggest brother's gentle arms, might have decided that he might as well rest and stay where he is for awhile. For that I can easily wait a few weeks longer.